General Visitation Schedule

[AnnetteN]

Just to clarify I have let him have him on Holidays that he has worked I just don't agree because of his reasonings.  He plays a lot of games with the kids heads and with his time.  There has been many times he has cancelled his weekend with some excuse like he was sick and then mutual friends say they ran into him out at the bar that evening or posted things online about being out and times he has cancelled right before school activities because of misc excuses as well.

He also doesn't like that we have been able to take family vacations and tells our son that he can't because I take all his money and that he pays for our vacations.  My son has came home quoting that amount of child support.  There is a lot more back story that isn't worth getting into just petty stuff.   Not to mention his work schedule is not only midnights but days off change every few weeks as well so they do not stay the same. We have looked at the standards and have offered what I think is a very reasonable schedule with splitting time on Holidays and breaks and giving more time over the summer.  If it does go to a judge I feel we were reasonable and am anxious to see what happens and get this done.   

[gam]

I do get the problem with him cancelling. I have many extended family members in split situations, several custodial moms and several custodial dads. Big complaint by all of them is the other parent cancelling, and they often find out their other is doing the things your ex is, lying about why they need to cancel and it showing up online in their postings.

But here is the deal, they have the right to visitation time, but they are not obligated to take that right. So by becoming the custodial parent, you actually agree to be crapped on when they don't want their time and come up with lame excuses so they can go do their thing. But then you can look at it this way, you actually are not that crapped on, cause you get extra time with your child, or maybe some other family member gets time with them, as you may have made plans cause you thought the children would be with dad. I do know ones who have gotten weeknight visitation taken from the non custodial parent. But they had to have a years worth of no shows, and proof of the no shows. I have yet to see one get weekends taken away, but then I don't anyone who has missed a years worth of weekend visits.

In Michigan you do not have to give make up time, unless your the one who cancelled the visit. So if dad cancels his visit, he can be out of luck. The court does like to see that the custodial parent tries to give them make up time anyways, but they also understand that you can't always arrange your own schedule to work that out.

If you read the handbook, most have something in there about either parent not talking to the other about the court stuff, that includes child support. However the handbook is just guideline, so Friend of Court can't do anything about it unless it is written in your order. Now I wouldn't go filing cause he tells the kid one thing, but if he is discussing this stuff with the child often, then you surely can ask for it in your order. Then if it is in order, dad would be in contempt of that order. With how Michigan does it, you don't have to actually file contempt, you can write Friend of Court your complaints(as long as it in the order), and they will investigate. Basically they will just tell dad not to do it, but if this were to become an ongoing issue, and dad was to ignore what FOC told him, they will do more.

Just giving you extras, cause I'm not sure how much you know on any of this, show just showing what can be possibly done on certain things. Last thing, don't forget in Michigan, you first go to a Ref, Refs only make recommendations, if you don't like what they recommend, you have the right to object and see the Judge. Nothing is an order until the Judge signs it. If you don't object to a Refs recommendation in the alloted time, it then goes to the Judge and he signs it. The county's tend to vary on this time frame to object, I have seen many that are 21 days, however my county is only 7 days. So you should find this out before going to court. I have seen many times where someone objects to the Refs recommendation, and the Judge will agree and come up with something else. Matter of fact, I have seen more often then not, the Judge decide something different then the Ref has. Don't know it could just be the cases I have seen, but it is worth a shot if you don't like the Refs recommendation. It only costs you an extra day in court, no fee to file an objection.