Update, Questions, and Maybe Hope

[Beantowngal]

So much has happened....I will start with the hope.  We and mom of child #2 are court ordered to go to counseling.  I had my first appointment 2 weeks ago. I had a rough morning with nasty text messages from mom, had a panic attack before leaving home, cried all the way there, so I am sure I gave a great first impression....cried through most of our meeting as well.  I was with him 2 hours, some of his final words to me were the glimmer of hope we need.  He doesn't care about the adults in this situation, but he is concerned about a little boy that does not get to spend time with his brother, has lost his father and brother, and is also being alienated from this brother, and the grandparents.  He will go to court to fight for this child.   It was everything I wanted to hear, I hope he was not just blowing smoke...I have to have some hope to keep me marginally sane.

We were denied the week visitation our agreement states we should have, but mom sugggested another week.  We were allowed to have him the weekend that was the first anniversary of his father's death.  Child #1 had told us he wanted a "normal day" so that is what we did. They swam, played video games, just a normal day.  During this time #1 asks #2 why his mom was not letting him come over.  #2 says his mom told him he comes over everytime he is supposed to, and he doesn't want to be at our house for "special days" because we make him sad.  He said that we make a big deal out of everything, and he does not want to be sad.  This was the first "special day" he was at our house.  We did nothing different.  Not sure where this is coming from.  We are scared to talk about his father in front of him, his mom has yelled at me several times, i've been too sad, too happy, we are not to let this child be sad.  This visit was different, we could all feel a wedge between this child and us.  He wasn't his normal self at all.  Now that I think about it, how would a 10 year old know what day it was it no one told him??

Friday I text mom to confirm the week for visitation.  It has changed again.  He can only come 5 and half days.  I was defeated again when I received that text so I put my phone down and thought it best I just not respond.  I text her today to confirm the 5 and half days and got a 2 text message back that was also sent to my husband.  Evidently ALL of our problems are my fault, I should not act so poopy and dumb, and she is not going to put up with it anymore.  I ignored this text as well.

Our attorney has the contempt papers drawn up for the 2 weekends she kept him away from us.   My son had had 3 contempts against her previously.   Now my husband and I just had a "disagreement". He is thinking we should just not file the contempt charges, and continue to let her make and change the rules to suit herself.  The court system has been more than disappointing to us, so he feels nothing will come of this.  I feel we have to try.  The more we do nothing, the more she is going to push her power.  I owe it to my deceased son to try to maintain a relationship between these children.  The GAL acknowledges she is alienating the child and is extremely difficult.  What do I do??  This is too much for an old lady : )

[MixedBag]

Keep going along that path....