School District Change?

[gemini3]

My husband and BM have had a 50/50 joint physical custody plan, with dad having 1 extra week during the summer, for the last 15 months.  BM has worked an overnight shift on and off for a little over 2 years (she changes jobs frequently, so far 8 months is the record), and DH has ROFR when she works overnight.

BM and DH live about 15 miles from each other, and children go to school in her district.  They have been in that district since BM and DH seperated.  Since we now have the 50/50 schedule and ROFR, we drive the children back and forth to school 5 days during our weeks, and drive them to school 3 days a week on her weeks.  During our weeks it's 64 miles a day, and 32 on her weeks since we're just driving them to school and not picking them up.  With gas prices being what they are, it's been really expensive.  Not to mention we still pay CS (since he makes more than her).

She's been fighting the ROFR since she now has a live-in boyfriend but, so far, we've successfully won on that issue and she hasn't taken it to court (yet).  Her biggest complaint is that the kids "hate" the drive back and forth.  I don't think we have to worry about ROFR, since I don't think a judge will take the kids from dad to leave them with mom's boyfriend all night.  But I'm wondering how long things would have to go on like this in order for the courts to support a request for a change in school districts.  They go to school from our house 80% of the time, and we'd really like for them to go to school where we live.  As it stands, we're making the trip 13 times in 2 weeks.  She would have to make the trip here 7 times in 2 weeks.

[tigger]

Do the kids want to change schools and is there a difference in curriculum? 

I moved so that my kids would go to a certain high school and despite Wake County's rep of moving kids all around everywhere, I was never affected by reassignment.  However, in moving for the high school, it put my youngest needing to change elementary schools and not going to the desired middle school . . . unless I never told them about the move for the elementary school (14 months) and allowed the middle school to assume my address had not changed (3 years).  This was okay because my ex moved onto the property I vacated (owned by his dad but I had a lifetime right to occupy it).  This allowed my son to get off the school bus at his grandfather's and was a convenient pick up for both my ex and me (though not nearly as convenient as the ex since I lived 20 minutes away and the ex lived adjacent to eFIL's property.)  Our son was happy with this arrangement as he wanted to go to those three specific school (like his brother had done and many of his friends were on track to do) and my ex was happy because it was convenient for him (otherwise he would have had to travel 20 minutes out of his way to get our son for over 4 years.  He wouldn't go out of his way 10 minutes to pick up our oldest from Driver's Ed 2 days a few years ago so I doubt he would have done the 20 minutes 2 days a week.)  How old are the kids?

[gemini3]

There's no difference in curriculum.  I don't know what the kids think, since we haven't discussed it with them. 

The biggest reason we want to change is that SD1 is going into high school and her school starts an hour earlier that SD2's school.  Since we have to drive them, we have to either sit around for an hour between drop-off's, or pay $35 a week for before school care (even for the weeks they're with BM because we're holding a spot).  If they go to school in our district they'll be on the same schedule.

SD2 also has a half day on Wednesday's, which means 3 trips back and forth on Wednesday's.

We also take them to all of their extra-curricular activities.  In 6 years BM has taken the to their extra-curriculars 3 days.

[tigger]

It sounds reasonable to me but not sure the BM is going to like the idea of losing that status. 

I would think 6 months of status quo but unless you get in front of a judge quickly (school here starts on the 25th, a week and a half away), I think the status quo is going to end up being their schools in their mom's district.

[MixedBag]

I'm gonna bet that SD1, who is entering high school, is not gonna be happy with switching schools and changing friends.


SHE's gonna have to be on board.

[gemini3]

I think it would be better for SD1 if we did it now.  She's going to an international high school, so she's going to be with all new kids anyway. 

BM is admantly against it though, as we thought she would be.  We'd have to take it in front of a judge, and there's no way we can get it in before school starts.  I think we'll have to leave this for another time.