What to do when...

[Cookiemomma4]

Children and Youth is looking into a neglect situation....  Any opinions?

[MixedBag]

O.K., I hear what you're saying...

And I read your other post below, went to the link....and have questions.

Where in that text of the PA code do you read or get that Dad and Mom have presumed joint legal custody until the split?

Not trying to be argumentative or whatever....O.K.?

USUALLY -- one party files for a divorce and then there is a temporary order set in place.  That order designates a primary residential parent and in this case -- dad's -- it seems like that became Mom.

I'm saying that based on the fact that you wrote you're contemplating returning the daughter to mom tonight.

Yes, in a normal marriage, before divorce proceedings, both parents have joint legal and joint physical custody.  But all that changes....

If they were married, daughter is 5, what's in the temp orders?

And again, from my experience reading on the boards, you can/should only file an emergency order if the child's life is in danger.   So, if the child doesn't get the meds -- is her life in danger?  Only you and the docs can be the judge of that.

And then call the courts and ask how long before a hearing will get set IF you file an emergency order.  In one of the states I deal with, when an emergency order got filed, it took over 30 days before the hearing happened.  Some states are faster.

I'd say $20K is a bit high -- but yep dad's looking at some serious dollars for any legal battle.

[Cookiemomma4]

We, well my SO, filed for custody.  There is no temp order in place.  They are still married and nothing has been done about custody.  They had an oral agreement but that is it. And I am trying to find the PA law...we have printed it out and used it in the past but the computer that we had it saved to crashed and burned.  That was over a year ago...and I can't find it again now...but I am still looking...the one that I quoted on the other post was not the right one...I realized that later after I had had a nap and a night to think it over...
Will her life be in danger, probably not...just as in the past she will probably just be sick again for a long time...but this is part of the neglect issue that Children and Youth has  been investigating for 49 days now...and continues to investigate...so I guess the answer is to ride it out until our set date or until Children and Youth takes action...although we were told before by Children and Youth that we should keep her until it is all take care of and she is no longer sick because my SO is just as responsible as the BM in the absence of a court order, and then in the same breath we were told that there was nothing that could be done about it because we took action to rectify the situation by getting her a doc, an ENT, and a dentist when we finally had her for a few days during the week (before that we thought our only option was to take her to the doc and leave it to mom to follow up as perscribed by the doc)...

[Cookiemomma4]

although we were told before by Children and Youth
>that we should keep her until it is all take care of and she
>is no longer sick because my SO is just as responsible as the
>BM in the absence of a court order, and then in the same
>breath we were told that there was nothing that could be done
>about it because we took action to rectify the situation by
>getting her a doc, an ENT, and a dentist when we finally had
>her for a few days during the week (before that we thought our
>only option was to take her to the doc and leave it to mom to
>follow up as perscribed by the doc)...

Just to clarify further...we took her back then because we were told by lawyers that keeping her even in the absence of a court order would look BAD when we went to court only because the mother has her in daycare of 10 hours a day and we would be rioing her from that stabalizing factor in her life with out the consent of the courts...we were told that it would be ok if we continued to have her attend but then we are setting the 5 year old up to be a yo-yo child and it would allow the mother to reclaim "assumed physical custody" on a daily basis...of course allowing us to do the same thing the following day....just not a good situation for the child to be in...

[backwardsbike]

I am in PA also.  I am a NCP.  My Xhas neglected the children's medical care in the past.  In convo's with CYS I was told by the caseworkers to call them if the child arrived for my custody time with the same sympotoms and dad had done nothing.  In our county they have an after hours number you can call to report things like that.  I would also let the doc know there's an open case with CYS and encourage him to call if he thinks that the medicne regime is not being followed or that the child's condition si being adversly afected by what the mom is doing or not doing.

In my expereince it takes the owrd of professionals like docs and dentists to make somehting happen and then it will probably take more than one instance.  Keep at it.  Just make sure you are on the right side of the law when you do anything.

[Cookiemomma4]

Thank you for your responses...we decided to take her back and let things "ride" as they are...along with a fax and a call to Children and Youth.  We unfortunately won't see her now until the 7th (which coincidently is also our court date (which is 43 or 44 days after we filed so they can not be granted another continuence from what we understand because that would take it over the 45 day max)...so we won't know if the medicine is followed through with or not...but we are trying to do what we can.  She, BM, also won't allow us contact between visits...so we have absolutely no followup until we are in court or through children and youth it seems.  We will just keep plugging on...and trying to get this precious little girl into a better situation!

[backwardsbike]

How old is the child?  IS she in school or daycare?

I too have difficulty having contact with my NC kids between visits. But in one instance I was worried about an eye infection that I took DD to the docs for during my visit.  The eye actually looked WORSE the Sunday she was to go home inspite of starting her on antibiotic drops.

In that case I called the doc adn he said to watch and call in a day or so if it got worse. I passed all that on to dad.  On the Wednsday after the visit I emailed dad to ask if the eye was better.  he didn't respond ( that's not unsusal, he never does).  So I called the school.  I asked the secrtary if she could just look at DD's eye casue I was worried about it from the weekend.

I found out the nurse had called the dad and pretty much told him he had to call the doc.  I learned that my DD was walking around with severely red eyes...both of them.  She was allergic tot he drops. That's why it was worse the day after we started treating!

The schools and daycares can be  very good sources of information.  It pays to be very polite.  Let teachers and everyone know you are interested in the child's best interests.  ANd be sure tot hank anyone who helps you.

Ideally it should be the bio parent making these contacts.  Legaly a SM can do nothing.  So you can help your SO by sharing with him this info and helping him make contact.

[Cookiemomma4]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Contact the school...that is a good one!

Sorry, not to belittle your thoughts and ideas, but if you were in our shoes you would completely understand.  
*edited to remove case specific info...
We have also, of course, sent a letter to the doc office.  One off of this site...and have heard nothing as of yet...

[Cookiemomma4]

For some more fun and excitement...how about our last weekend visit?  
Edited to remove case specific information...