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Tried to do an agreement and BM did a switcharoo!

Started by ladiva23, Sep 06, 2011, 05:18:47 PM

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ladiva23

My DH was laid off and so I reached out to this woman, even after everything she's put us through with the custody trial.

She agreed that we could come to terms without utilizing the courts.  We are in NYS where its 25% for two kids.  I told her two percent of zero is zero, she said she was tired of the courts, so I spent like three hours typing up an agreement with disclosure any everything.  I enclosed the CSSA annual obligation chart and she says:

"I'm going to meet with a lawyer to review" so I said that was fine.  She said she will review with a lawyer and get back to me.

She texts my DH tonight and says she spoke with a lawyer and advised her to let the court handle it.  SO much for her wanting to just deal with it like civilized adults.

I figured that she was going to do the switch, mostly because I'm convinced she suffers from SOME kind of delusional disorder...BPD maybe? So I had already typed up forms on my DH behalf and had him sign, mailed and delivered STRAIGHT to the courthouse.

Why am I so angry with her?  I should be happy because now, DH's obligation is only going to be $25.00 - $50.00 a month, and I clearly offered her $200 a month, plus 50% of incidentals, and health insurance on my HMO.  So its less money out of my pocket.  I should be happy right?  I tried to explain to her that because his unemployment was involuntary, and he was looking for work, and his annual support obligation was already low due to both a pay and hours cut two years ago, so his unemployment is worth squat like $184 a week, so he will definitely get a modification.

She doesn't get it or she doesn't want to get it, or she still likes going to court.  I think this is why I am so angry.  I know that once the CS gets modified that low, then she's going to ask me for assistance... but I will probably say no.

I'm getting a little bit more than peeved.
The thing is, the children don't have to choose. They can have us both. - Jackie [The Stepmom]

ocean

I am in NY and it really is not cut and dry case. The lowest it can go is the $25 but that does not mean a judge will order it that low. Judge can also make your dh go to employment counseling and list the jobs in the month he has applied for then come back in a month and let the court know what happened. Have a list ready to go, on the jobs that he has tried for, newspapers that show no jobs in his area, and proof of income. Tax returns, white out your info and the total as you are not a party to the case. Hopefully he can get it lowered but it will go by the date of filing, so get that paperwork in. If you can, drop off the paperwork at the family clerk office, little faster than mail. Good luck!

ladiva23

I am using a template for a job search form, thanks Ocean for giving me the heads up about the newspapers. I'm not saying he will order it THAT low, but he currently pays $100 a week for current CO so it will be less than what I offered her I think.  And good looking on the whiteout thing, I say I was being nice to her because I was going to give her CS based off my salary - minus expenses now that there is only one income, but now she can just deal with DH's income because I tried.
The thing is, the children don't have to choose. They can have us both. - Jackie [The Stepmom]