I don't know where to begin

[waitinginfaith]

I am overwhelmed.  I went through a HORRIBLE four years trying to get my visitation for my first son.  So, my next son's mother knows that I am afraid of the court system, don't have the money, and just don't want another battle.  She manipulates, and has even become friends with my first son's mother!!(who now says that I if I ever date again, she will take me BACK to court because she doesn't want anyone else around him)...How do I get custody (joint) of my second son without a huge battle?? I want to do it peacefully so what do I need to do to make sure I get it when I file?
And, how do I live my life without worrying about what my first son's mother is going to do?  Is there any way to prevent her from controlling me?

[waitinginfaith]

I am overwhelmed.  I went through a HORRIBLE four years trying to get my visitation for my first son.  So, my next son's mother knows that I am afraid of the court system, don't have the money, and just don't want another battle.  She manipulates, and has even become friends with my first son's mother!!(who now says that I if I ever date again, she will take me BACK to court because she doesn't want anyone else around him)...How do I get custody (joint) of my second son without a huge battle?? I want to do it peacefully so what do I need to do to make sure I get it when I file?
And, how do I live my life without worrying about what my first son's mother is going to do?  Is there any way to prevent her from controlling me?
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[ocean]

The first thing many of us practice here is IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE. Give one way to contact you, change the rest so you can have a life. You can date and have a life but do not have anyone near child until it gets serious. Only communicate if you must. Kind of like a business deal now. Answer in one word answers whenever possible and ignore things that do not need answers. Ignore all other things that they try to pull to get under your skin.

Next, follow the court order. Go at the days/times the court order says. If child is not there, get a police report written up to prove you were there. If this keeps happening or a holiday, use the police reports and file contempt of court papers against her for not following court order. YOu can fill these papers out yourself for free or small fee. She will then have to answer why she is not following court order. If this happens, in the papers you file, ask for make up time and future lawyer fees if this happens again.

Other child, go to family court and file custody papers. If you are on the birth certificate, it will go a little faster. Ask for joint custody and you can ask for the same schedule as your other child. You have a stronger case so the kids/siblings see each other as much as possible. It will depend on how much she wants to fight this but you will get some sort of court ordered time to follow.

The two mothers may cause a lot of issues, but ignore and try to laugh off their craziness. Unless you get official court papers, ignore.