Never been through this. Distraught...

[jszanko]

I'll start with the basic facts.  My EXGF of 5 1/2 years and i split up in Sep 05.  I had found out she was with another guy and 2 or 3 days after we split this guy moved in with her.  We have 2 children together.  One is nearly 3 and the other is 10 months.  In APR 06 she called me one night and told me she had struck the other party and went after him with a knife.  I picked her and the children up and broght them back to my mothers place where I had been staying and apparently alchol was involed in the incident.  Make a long story short she thought it would be a good idea to work things out with me and her.  Having a great love for my children i agreed and here i am sitting now back at my mothers place with a domestic violence case against me.  She had me arrested for restraining her to avoid her hitting me.  Yesterday she informed me that she was going to seek sole custody of our children and that i wasn't going to see them until everything was decided in court.  I really love my children and i really want to see them.  She never kept them away from me the first time we split up so i can't understand why she would keep them away from me now.  I really want to see my kids and i don't want to take them away from her.  I just want to be a part of their life.  What options do i have for seeing my children?  do i need to go file a petition for visitation/custody?  Will this pending DV case against me hurt my chances of seeing my kids?  

[jszanko]

nt

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

Yes, you'll need to file a paternity action (i.e., you were never married, so it's a paternity action) seeking the custody/visitation that you feel is best for the kids.

It's crucial for you to document her intent to keep you from the kids.

If you don't have a restraining order against you, email her or write her twice a week, asking to see the kids.  With a little luck, you'll get ranting and raving back in return (it'll help you later).

At the same time, you need to aggressively fight the DV charge.  DO NOT PLEAD IT OUT.

I suggest you find a criminal defense attorney to fight it.  Take a polygraph stating that the mother told you she attack her boyfriend with a knife, that she tried to hit you, and when she tried to hit you, you grabbed her to prevent the attack.

Your goal will be to show the prosecutor that if they don't drop the charge, it WILL go to trial.

Incidentally, this is exactly how I handled my own case when my ex made a false DV call to 9-1-1 about me.

The asst prosecutor had a meeting with me and my (newly hired) criminal defense attorney.  My attorney was pushing for an immediate trial so I could vindicate myself, came armed with three impeccable letters of reference about me and my character.  30 minutes later, the asst prosecutor agreed to drop the charge.  Boom, done.

So, the PENDING charge will hurt your chance of seeing the kids, so that's why you need to make it a DROPPED charge as soon as possible.

Then, you get to tout (in your pleadings) that the charge was fabricated for the purpose of keeping you away from the children, and it was so absurd it never even went to trial.