Dad: Getting Full Custody; Do I have a chance?

[lmicro]

Hi All.  It's great to see a site like this. Thanks for making it available.

My story:
I am a law abiding, working 40 year old married Father of a 14mos old daughter.   My wife and I have been married almost two years and we live in Orange County, CA.  My wife and I were having marital problems before our daughter was born.  When she was born I was kicked out of the bedroom by my wife and I slept in the guest room for 9mos after my daughter's birth before my wife decided to move out.  She decided to move to her parent's home with our daughter 60 miles away while claiming that it is a temporary move until we get our issues resolved.  I agreed on this since it was getting unhealthy for our daughter to see us bickering all the time.  So in mid-January of this year my wife moved to her parent's home with our daughter.  We agreed upon weekend stays (my wife would come home for the weekend) and skype video during the week.  Prior to her vacating our home we were going to counseling once every two weeks (I wanted to go at least once a week but just getting her to go was a challenge in itself).  We continued the course of counseling while she was living at her parent's home.  Three months went by and it felt as though I was dragged along aimlessly by a leash.  One day she acted as if she was ready to work on our relationship and the next day she was cursing me under her breath while telling me that she would never have another child with me ever again.   This was all unprovoked.  I did everything the counselor told me to do and my wife did not reciprocate.  Her feelings would flip flop like a light switch in a public place.  I am starting to believe that maybe she could have borderline personality disorder and I spoke with a psychiatrist that confirmed it could be but I cannot be sure and I don't want to focus on that since it could make me look like a spurned lover.

One day, I pleaded with her to tell me what was wrong and she broke down and said she wanted to live near (or at) her parent's home.  My wife has lived a very entitled life so she is a bit of a spoiled brat.  She has had me move multiple times in the last couple of years in order to feed her need to accumulate real estate with my money as down payments.  I was exhausted from moving and doing two years of renovations that I wouldn't even think about it again.  I'm finally recuperating from all of it.  My belief is that she is looking to sponge off of her parents instead of me.  Feeling that I've had enough, I filed for custody and divorce.  This was 3 mos after she moved out.  Surprisingly,  a couple of weeks after she left our home she had contacted a lawyer and started making changes to her personal bank accounts (I recently discovered this via our cell phone records. She could have been trying to hide money because we make about the same salary except she makes a couple of $k more than me).  She has family near our home and also near her parent's.  I only have family near my home.  One of the reasons we are in this mess is because of her attempts at isolating me from friends and family.
She has recently requested to her lawyer that I have every other weekend visitations with one or two days during the week.  The problem is that she is 60 miles away and in LA traffic that could be about 1.5 – 2 hours each way.   This will inhibit me from becoming an active part of her life.  I want to be involved in her parent teacher conferences.  I want to volunteer for lunch duty so that she can see her Father during the day.  I want to be a part of all her extracurricular activities and plays as well.   I have started taking piano lessons so that I can teach her the basics when she is ready to learn.   I want to teach her how to ride a bicycle.  60 miles is a long way for me to engage actively in any of those.
Since she is not negotiable on her living location, I have decided to go for full custody.  I work from home and my job is willing to allow me to have alternate hours to support my child if I had full custody.  My wife travels 60 miles from her parent's home to her office near our home while leaving our daughter with a nanny for most of the day.  When I ask my wife to bring our daughter home to me when she goes into the office, I am constantly denied that right. When I'm with my wife and daughter my wife typically has her back to me when playing with her and leaves me out of the fun while talking Chinese to her.  (My wife is 1st generation Chinese American and I am American of Euro descent) I've spoken with a Father's Rights group and they informed me that I should go for full custody because of my schedule.  The only problem is that she has been primary caretaker of my daughter at night.  She has refused me the right to care for my daughter overnight claiming that she does not trust my parenting skills to do so.   Meanwhile for 14 mos she has been letting our daughter sleep with her in bed while ignoring my pleas to move our daughter to the crib and alternate night care between us.  When asked why she does this, she claims that it is for her own convenience so she can roll over and feed our daughter without having to get up.   Any and all of my recommendations are discarded by her.  I have taken a baby saver class, toddler behavior class and even a lactation class and I get no say in the upbringing of my daughter.  I have fed her and clothed her and changed her diapers but  I'm concerned that the inexperience with night care will be her strategy in trying to deny me the full custody.  I'm looking for the experience to do this so I can claim I have the ability while showing the judge that I'm serious about the full custody.  I wouldn't know where to turn for this experience.  My daughter has been accepted into a nursery school that we signed her up for.  The requirements were that she be >1y/o and that she walk.  I had to find out myself that my daughter could walk one weekend when I took her to the park near her grandparent's home.  My wife denied she could.  A couple of days later I get an email stating that it will be a couple of days before she can fully walk.  Conveniently this was a couple of days before I was to see her again. 
My wife is extremely selfish and she has been enabled by her parents her entire life.  I finally started to see this a little late.
This is the dilemma I face.  Can anyone offer any advice to counteract such a claim?  Any recommendations on how I should proceed would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Distraught Father

[shellcode]

I feel your pain man.I'm a father as well of a 6 yr old.I believe you could try getting every other weekend visitation because you do have that right to be with your daughter.Full custody? To bad you can;t unless the child is in danger, like she using drugs,abandoned etc.Or try to talk to her saying," let your daughter stay with you for 1 week and 1 week with her and see what she says, if not..You tell i take you to court simple as that, and i know 60 miles is pretty far, tell her to go half and half on travel 30 miles and u travel 30 miles and meet at mall or restruant and see how that goes..