do i have a chance

[stevekyle]

I will get straight to the point.My son is Eleven and has lived with his mother from the day after his first birthday when she walked out,throughout those eleven years i have had contact with my son near on every weekend,taken him on holidays,paid his mum weekly through an mutual agreement and hated the fact from day one that he has not been with me full time.i married three years ago and the relationship with my son,with me and my wife has grown stronger than i could imagine.My son has been asking for a number of months why he can not live with my wife and myself.Tonight after the three of us have been away for the bank holiday weekend my son has appeared at my house in tears saying that he does not want to live with his mum and her husband any longer.I called his mother to say that we needed to talk and sort things out.She called the Police.My X had the heavy mob at the front of our house,the X cried and screamed but would not enter into a adult conversation.My son was asked by the Police were he wanted to stop tonight and he replied that he wanted to live with us.He has gone home with his mother due to the fact that she is 'legal gaurdian'.She wants to take it through court,my son agreed as so did i.Do i stand a chance.And how did she get the Police to respond so fast for a domestic.

[Sherry1]

to live.  So no, based only upon him sayin he wants to live with you will probably not work for a custody change.

REasons for custody change that a judge might consider is "DOCUMENTED physical abuse by a third party, i.e., the police" or  if her or her husband have been arrested and convicted of a felony, or if child protective services has been involved due to child abuse in the home.

[stevekyle]

Thanx for that,all the information i can get helps.I will be with the solicitors tommorow.My wife had a breif contact with my son today via the computer and his mother has told him that he will never see me again.So i will be seeking legal advice

[Kitty C.]

The court may not listen to his 'voice' in court, but they could seriously consider his 'feet'.  Meaning he's already started by coming to your home when he's supposed to be with his mom.  One thing I would recommend:  do NOT dissuade him from this, but don't prompt him either.  Yes, she will keep calling the cops and making a scene and the cops will ask him again whom he wants to live with, tho they have no authority to make that determination.

Then when you do go to court, make damn sure you have ALL police reports regarding these incidences.  Even have one of the cops testify if you have to.  Sooner or later, they will tell the court they are sick and tired of being called out for this and the court will realize they cannot rule against a 'determined child'.   Remember this above all else:  the court orders are ONLY between you and your ex.  It does NOT order your child to do or not do something.  With his feet (and a lot of perserverance and patience), he can change the minds of the court.  Just be aware that you 'cannot' influence him in this in any way and that it could adversely affect him later in life, depending on how traumatic it could turn out to be.

[stevekyle]

thanx for that.it made alot of sense.had a chance to talk to him on msn last night and he wanted to come round.I said best not,but after reading what you said it makes alot of sense.I dont and never would push him to do things,he makes his mind up and will stick by him.At the moment bar msn i have no contact with him.Apparently she has one of her friends(head doctor)coming round thursday to talk to him.The quickest solicitors appointment i can get is Monday.I just feel lost to be honest,like my hands are tied.