Step Parent Adoption

[nik85]

I was wondering if anyone has adopted their step child when one of the bio parents would not consent?

        I'm 27 and have been married to my husband for 7 yrs he is 30. Two months before we met in 2004 he went to a party and had a one night stand with a girl he didnt know (he knows it was stupid and does not party anymore). The girl never contacted him to let him know she was pregnant. My husband and I ended up meeting a couple months later and quickly started dating. Wr had just moved in together when he got a call one night from this girl saying "I dont know if you remember me, but I just had your baby". We went to her house the next day,she lived at her moms and still does. We knew right away that my husband was her dad, she looked just like him. The moms white and my husband is Hawaiian and she looked just like him. We ended up getting a DNA test later to confirm it. Anyways from the day she was born my husband took a huge role in his daughters life (HKO). And by the time HKO was 9 months old she was living at our house 6 days a week and only went to her BMs 1 night a week. When we went to court when HKO was 1 to put my husband on the birth certificate and get a parenting plan (there were things BM was doing that concerned us) BM told the judge my husband had only seen HKO twice since birth among other lies, the judge soon saw through her lies and my husband was awarded sole custody with him having sole decision making rights. The BM was parting all the time and had multiple men in and out of the home, took our daughter to parties and left her with people we didnt know, plus she was givin a psycological eval. which said she had major problems when it came to decision making and keeping HKO safe. Bm was awarded everyother weekend visits, she took these visits for about 10 months after court. That was 5 yrs ago, out daughter is now almost 8 and in the last 5 1/2 yrs BM has only seen her once a yr around her birthday and has never called her on the phone. She has also not paid a penny in child support in over 5 yrs and is over $6,000 behind. She even gave away all of HKO things when she stoppped seeing her instead of letting HKO take her stuff home to our house she gave it all away. I have been HKO only mom since pretty much birth, even when she was taking her visits she was not involved in any aspect of HKO life. To make matters worse HKO had developmental delays due to BM drug and alcohol use and BM has refused to acknowledge this or participate in any speech therapy. My husband and I want me to adopt HKO, I have always treated her as my own and have never even called her a step daughter, shes my daughter. Our problem is even though BM doesnt want anything to do with her she wont sign a consent form, not even if we dropped the back CS. If we took her back to court she would say she wants HKO back. Does anyone know if we have a good chance of me adopting her. We are not on any state assistance and HKO is on my health insurance through my work. Both my husband and I have college degrees and have good jobs plus we own our own buisness. BM didnt graduate high school never works, lives with her mom, has another kids by a stranger and is on TANF,she still parties and is always with a different guy.
  Thanks for any help