40 days - Have not spoken to my children

[NEMOM]

My former husband filed an ex-parte filing Aug. 14th based on lies and was granted temp sole custody.  I have not seen nor talked to my children since then.  I have always been the primary caregiver alone for 9 years, he has even been to jail for non-payment of child support in 2003.  I am in litigation and have a hearing in 2 days but have no idea what to expect after the last time.  At the last hearing I was denied a 5 day hearing by the judge and denied my lawyers objections, I never spoke...

The order said I could visit and speak to the children BUT I couldn't call or inititate this, so nothing has happened as he has not had them call me..

[Ref]

How did your hearing go?
Is the order specific in when and where your visitation is to take place?
How old are your kids?
Do you live close to them?

The first comment I have is that his jail time for nonpayment of support probably wont have any bearing on anything in regards to custody. If you bring it up, it will make you look like you are out to get him NOT that you have the best interest of the kids in mind. If it was jail time over drugs or violence, you might have a point with it.

I assume, due to the fact that he had trouble with support in the past, that he doesn't have custody of his other kids. If he does, and they have lived together (all the kids). He might have a case that it is important that they live with their siblings.

Do you not have your ex's phone number, email or address? Is he just not picking up or responding to letters/emails/messages that you have left?

We had to deal with this ourselves. What we did, and I think it was helpful for MANY years was to send all correspondence through certified mail. If DH called BM and she would pick the phone up and immediately hang up (prior to caller-id), he would document the times he called and after a couple of weeks (try only calling every other day so you don't look psycho) he would send her a certified letter stating his attempts , with all the details, and that he would like to make sure he can talk to SD at least once a week, on Sundays at 7 pm with DH innitiating the call.

If he has an email, look into Readnotify.com or other programs like that. Send notice of your intent to exercise visitation and with this program, you can track it to see if the person read the email, how long, if the printed it or forwarded it, how many times they opened it.  You can use it for all your email communication. It will also show if he blocks your email. You can also make it invisible, but often the tracking didn't work when we did this.

Good Luck,

Ref