Situation just went from bad to way, WAY worse..

[chickenbubbasmom]

I was able to talk in depth with SS via text. Mom is telling him he can't come back home on Sunday. When SS got caught shoplifting it was a day before her holiday visitation was to start. DH texted her asking if she could come get him now because he can't live here if he is going to refuse to be accountable for his actions (exactly what the message said). Basically, he appealed to BM for help (foolishly) hoping she would. SS has admitted everything to us and wants to come back, but BM is telling him DH said he can't live herein the text, and if she shows the cops the message then they will make him stay with mom. I am getting all this info from SS via text. He is afraid to stand up to mom. I told him if he wants to come back and it comes to it he is going to have to tell her he is going with us, or the cops if she physically refuses to let him leave which has happened before.

Worst of all, and the reason for the new post, I found out today that girlfriend of SS is 2 months pregnant. SS is 16 and the girlfriend is 15. Girlfriend's mom seems to be ok with it (??) but I haven't talked to her about this yet. The girlfriend actually texted and told me. BM doesn't know, which gives us a chance to digest and think before the you know what hits the fan. . I am at a loss on this one, totally. Anyone have personal experience or any idea how this is going to figure into our situation? Mediation is 1/25 and court is 2/7. We don't even know how to approach this, whether to bring it up in court, to BM, just deal with the girls mother..help???!

[chickenbubbasmom]

OH, when DH just texted BM about picking up SS tomorrow she responded with "you said he can't live there so he isn't going back".  He texted again and now she is ignoring him.

[MixedBag]

In your other thread, if I understand right, there is an order stating that Dad has custody of this son.


I would text son and tell him to meet you in the driveway and go get him.  Have the order with you....have a video machine taping, and a recorder recording.


If that doesn't work -- what about asking the police department for a civil standby and assist?


In WV this wouldn't have worked because the criminal kidnapping law says that anyone over the age of 16 .....geez, would have to find the wording, but since Michael was over 16, and he decided he didn't want to come back (thank you dad and GF), the cops wouldn't help me.  And when I mentioned this in family court later, the judge said "Don't worry, If I say he's going back to you, he's going back."  Don't know what the judge had in mind......but I digress.


I think Dad has to physically try and go.....so that Mom can't flip this around and say "Well, dad never tried."

[MixedBag]

Or what about after school on Monday.....simply go pick him up early.


That gives Dad a chance to talk to him face to face .....and go from there.

[ocean]

I agree, have to go and try to pick him up. Text her "I will be there at xx time to pick up xx as court ordered". I would then call the local police in her area and request they go with you or be ready for a call to that house. This way they already know the situation before she calls, son calls, or you call. If you have time, go to the police station before with your papers. If for whatever reason son does not come home with you, get a police report of what happens.

If he goes to school, then go first period, talk to social worker and have him come down to talk. Pick him up early. Have the school put that he is NOT to be released to mom as that is not her custody day. Little harder in HS when some schools are more lenient but have them aware and ready. If he does not show up to first period, then file ex-parte hearing to have sheriff go get him and bring him to you again.

The whole girl friend thing, if she has baby then a paternity test should be ordered to confirm he is the father. Reality check about raising a child, costs, and if they are not together child support and how that all works.
Good luck...

[chickenbubbasmom]

We were able to pick SS up without incident. BM didnt know what time pick up was since she lost her copy of the court papers, and she happened to fall asleep right before we got there.

Does anyone have any experience with teen pregnancy and how it may figure in to our case if at all..or an opinion on whether we should break the news to mom now, wait, bring it up at mediation/court, or hold off..? I understand about the paternity test, although honestly we have no reason to believe he is not the father. The girl is also in a bad home situation and troubled herself, so we are meeting with the mom today or tomorrow to discuss.