Custody and Support

[dennisolson]

I am in Az and I am facing a major custody and support mdification battle. My lawyer just had his secretary notify me that he is withdrawing and I don't even know why. Maybe because I have no more money, maybe because of who we are against.
Anyway, I have had the kids since Mar 2003 when the divorce was final every Weds and every other weekend Fri eve until Mon Morn. The decree called for Sat Morn til Mon Morn but she did not want to deal with me so she told me to get them after school on Friday. Since May 2005 she took a job requiring her to work late one week per month and I got the kids then. She just quit that job and is taking it back. Her lawyer has refused to give me credit for anything other than the 104 days the decree calls for. I filed in Jun 06 for custody mediation and Jul 06 for support mod. She got a lawyer and he filed contempt for back support even thought two of the 3 years I made 1/3 less than what the support was based on. The judge found me in contempt and ordered a 10K purge clause. I paid it and now her attorney is seeking contempt on unreimbursed medical that she has no receipts for in the tune of $4700.
The judge ordered that we go to mediation first for the custody and then another support hearing in Feb
My problem is (1) the kids started 2 years ago asking for more time and it seems that the court is on her side
 (2) I now have no lawyer or funds to continue the fight plus her lawyer is seeking for me to pay the fees
(3) My support payment is 47-52% of my monthly income

I am an avid church attender, very active in my kids lives and attend all school activites even volunteering at the school, I picked them up %85 of the time from school from Aug 2005-Aug 2006, stop by daycare almost daily to help them with their homework, do many other educational and good activities for them (including limiting TV time to almost nothing). Most of this their mother does not do with them and that is why they asked for the time with me. I have 3 sons 11,9,8

What are my rights and where do I turn?

Dennis

[Jade]

>I am in Az and I am facing a major custody and support
>mdification battle. My lawyer just had his secretary notify me
>that he is withdrawing and I don't even know why. Maybe
>because I have no more money, maybe because of who we are
>against.
>Anyway, I have had the kids since Mar 2003 when the divorce
>was final every Weds and every other weekend Fri eve until Mon
>Morn. The decree called for Sat Morn til Mon Morn but she did
>not want to deal with me so she told me to get them after
>school on Friday. Since May 2005 she took a job requiring her
>to work late one week per month and I got the kids then. She
>just quit that job and is taking it back. Her lawyer has
>refused to give me credit for anything other than the 104 days
>the decree calls for. I filed in Jun 06 for custody mediation
>and Jul 06 for support mod. She got a lawyer and he filed
>contempt for back support even thought two of the 3 years I
>made 1/3 less than what the support was based on. The judge
>found me in contempt and ordered a 10K purge clause. I paid it
>and now her attorney is seeking contempt on unreimbursed
>medical that she has no receipts for in the tune of $4700.
>The judge ordered that we go to mediation first for the
>custody and then another support hearing in Feb
>My problem is (1) the kids started 2 years ago asking for more
>time and it seems that the court is on her side
> (2) I now have no lawyer or funds to continue the fight plus
>her lawyer is seeking for me to pay the fees
>(3) My support payment is 47-52% of my monthly income
>
>I am an avid church attender, very active in my kids lives and
>attend all school activites even volunteering at the school, I
>picked them up %85 of the time from school from Aug 2005-Aug
>2006, stop by daycare almost daily to help them with their
>homework, do many other educational and good activities for
>them (including limiting TV time to almost nothing). Most of
>this their mother does not do with them and that is why they
>asked for the time with me. I have 3 sons 11,9,8
>
>What are my rights and where do I turn?
>
>Dennis


First, it doesn't matter if you were making a third less than what the support is based on.  When you have a change, you have to file for a modification to get it changed.  If you don't, you are on the hook for the amount in the court order.  In my state, it wouldn't matter if you made a third less if you were doing so voluntarily (quitting one job and taking a lower paying job is voluntary), you would be treated as making the higher amount.  

As for the receipts for medical expenses, what does the original order say?  It is reasonable for you to request receipts for these expenses.  Plus, some states include a certain amount for medical expenses in the child support calculation.  In my state, it is $250 per child, per year.  Anything over that, my ex has to pay his percentage.  Check out what your state says.  You should be able to get a copy of the guidelines on the State website.

The support payment being 47-52% of your salary doesn't sound unreasonable to me for 3 kids.  Now, if it was just one kid, then yes.  But it is expensive to raise kids.  Again, you need to research the child support guidelines for your state.

As for you not being credited back for time spent with your kids, in some states, if the CP makes under a certain amount, the child support is based on sole parenting.  In my state, it is less than 2 times the poverty level.  

I would also keep a log of the time you spend with them.  And get a lawyer.  

[dennisolson]

>>I am in Az and I am facing a major custody and support
>>mdification battle. My lawyer just had his secretary notify
>me
>>that he is withdrawing and I don't even know why. Maybe
>>because I have no more money, maybe because of who we are
>>against.
>>Anyway, I have had the kids since Mar 2003 when the divorce
>>was final every Weds and every other weekend Fri eve until
>Mon
>>Morn. The decree called for Sat Morn til Mon Morn but she
>did
>>not want to deal with me so she told me to get them after
>>school on Friday. Since May 2005 she took a job requiring
>her
>>to work late one week per month and I got the kids then. She
>>just quit that job and is taking it back. Her lawyer has
>>refused to give me credit for anything other than the 104
>days
>>the decree calls for. I filed in Jun 06 for custody
>mediation
>>and Jul 06 for support mod. She got a lawyer and he filed
>>contempt for back support even thought two of the 3 years I
>>made 1/3 less than what the support was based on. The judge
>>found me in contempt and ordered a 10K purge clause. I paid
>it
>>and now her attorney is seeking contempt on unreimbursed
>>medical that she has no receipts for in the tune of $4700.
>>The judge ordered that we go to mediation first for the
>>custody and then another support hearing in Feb
>>My problem is (1) the kids started 2 years ago asking for
>more
>>time and it seems that the court is on her side
>> (2) I now have no lawyer or funds to continue the fight
>plus
>>her lawyer is seeking for me to pay the fees
>>(3) My support payment is 47-52% of my monthly income
>>
>>I am an avid church attender, very active in my kids lives
>and
>>attend all school activites even volunteering at the school,
>I
>>picked them up %85 of the time from school from Aug 2005-Aug
>>2006, stop by daycare almost daily to help them with their
>>homework, do many other educational and good activities for
>>them (including limiting TV time to almost nothing). Most of
>>this their mother does not do with them and that is why they
>>asked for the time with me. I have 3 sons 11,9,8
>>
>>What are my rights and where do I turn?
>>
>>Dennis
>
>
>First, it doesn't matter if you were making a third less than
>what the support is based on.  When you have a change, you
>have to file for a modification to get it changed.  If you
>don't, you are on the hook for the amount in the court order.
>In my state, it wouldn't matter if you made a third less if
>you were doing so voluntarily (quitting one job and taking a
>lower paying job is voluntary), you would be treated as making
>the higher amount.  
>
>As for the receipts for medical expenses, what does the
>original order say?  It is reasonable for you to request
>receipts for these expenses.  Plus, some states include a
>certain amount for medical expenses in the child support
>calculation.  In my state, it is $250 per child, per year.
>Anything over that, my ex has to pay his percentage.  Check
>out what your state says.  You should be able to get a copy of
>the guidelines on the State website.
>
>The support payment being 47-52% of your salary doesn't sound
>unreasonable to me for 3 kids.  Now, if it was just one kid,
>then yes.  But it is expensive to raise kids.  Again, you need
>to research the child support guidelines for your state.
>
>As for you not being credited back for time spent with your
>kids, in some states, if the CP makes under a certain amount,
>the child support is based on sole parenting.  In my state, it
>is less than 2 times the poverty level.  
>
>I would also keep a log of the time you spend with them.  And
>get a lawyer.  

AS for the receipts, the decree says she has to provide them. Her lawyer claims 2 things,(1) she told me about the bills when they were due (some over 3 yrs ago) and I said that I could not afford them. That part is true 1 time when I was still unemployed. She told the Judge in our hearing that she quit asking because of that 1 time. Since then and including then she never provided receipts. (2) Her lawyer claims she does not have receipts/bills for all of it.
I am trying to find a lawyer. I have not received official withdrawal papers from my lawyer yet nor do I have any reason as to why.
As for the C/S. The ex works full time and always has. She stayed in th e $2800 sqft house as is built $220K in equity over the past 3 years while I lived with a roommate sharing a daybed with my children.I was able to finall get small apartment to myself for the kids and I. During this period even when I could not make the full payments their mother's lifestyle never worsened. I tried to file to lower support when I lost my job but the court rejected the paper work. I gave up believing what her lawyer said when I filed "The court does not care, they know what you can make and you can't do anything for 3 years". I knew I would have to deal with arrears. I only hoped they would have leniency.
As for the amount also, after I pay what it costs to keep the kids in daycare and medical insurance (her portion and mine) she nets almost $1100. It is expensive to raise kids but not that expensive. She has $500 car payment for a brand new luxury suv and puts $300/ mo in retirement while I give more than 1/2 my income away to her and drive a car with 67K miles on it. The court says it tries to make the home lives equal. It's far from that here.
I have and always will support my children. I just feel it should be more balanced

[MYSONSDAD]

Child support and parenting time/visitation are two differnet issues.

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

After your attorney terminates, have you thought of going Pro Se? Could hire a paralegal to make sure paperwork is filled out properly. There are many good articles here and other pro se sites. Many folks are pro se and can help you along the way.

We have Socrateaser who can help with the really deep stuff. Very knowledgable and highly respected. Just follow his mandated guidelines for posting.

I would think she would need receipts to prove the medical expenses.
Sounds like they are picking you apart, peice by peice, keeping you down and broke. Strategies often used to their advantage.

For what its worth, my CS has been reduced twice.

And always petition for more time, their your kids too. They are not property to be bargained for.

Keep up the fight....



"Children learn what they live"