Non-Custodial parent showing up after 2 years absent.

[google123]

I left the father of my now 4 year old son in June 2010 because of emotional abuse. After leaving him he was evicted from his apartment and moved 3 1/2 hrs away to live with his parents. I filed for a paternity suit and a judgment date was set for June 2011.

He hired a lawyer and we set up a parenting plan giving him every other weekend and Wednesday's. In January 2011 his lawyer dropped from the case because he wasn't being paid. My lawyer wasn't very encouraging and when I suggested changing the parenting plan to full custody in my behalf he suggested that I leave it the way it was written. Court date came and the father didn't show up. I signed the plan and it went into effect. I tried to follow our plan but ended up either driving my son the full 3 1/2 hrs for visitation or I wouldn't end up being able to get a hold of him when it was his time for visitation.

I stopped trying and lost all contact to him. He became behind $9,000 in his child support and they started taking his paycheck last year. My son is now 4 and doesn't know who his father is. I got married last year and our family is very close. My son's father has now started contacting me and threatens me every time saying that I am held in contempt to court to allow him to see our son. I have tried to set up a plan where we can meet and our son can slowly be introduced back into his life so that it is not traumatizing but he always ends up saying no that I need to allow him to take him across state to his family for the weekend or he will have him taken away from me. I am at a loss. I'm not sure what to do.

I am okay with him being in our son's life but I do not think I should have to send him 3 1/2 hours away with someone he doesn't know just because he says that's what he wants now after two years. The last time he saw or spoke to our son was April 2011. Any suggestions would be great! I have considered getting a lawyer but I know that we can't reopen our case until it's been at least 3 years.

[ocean]

You can file a modification for visitation using the reason, mother requests a modification to the visitation as the father has not exercised his rights since xx (date). Mother requests the courts set a gradual visitation plan so that child can meet father a few times before traveling xx hours away out of state". You can get these papers at the family court house near you or sometimes you can find your state paperwork on line.

He can not reverse custody on this. Send him a letter (with tracking number) offering some dates he can come see child and that you are willing to work with him. You can show the courts you are trying to work with father. Maybe say after ? (3-5) visits near you, it can go back to overnight. He really can not follow the Wed night bring that far away so that can be address too.