Support after 21 in NY

[MacDad555]

Some back story: The mother of my two daughters was diagnosed with cancer when my youngest was born and after a 3 year fight lost the battle and her life. Prior to that I had signed a separation agreement that provided that I support my kids until they were 25. I have paid without pause since they were 2 and 3 respectively except for about 6 months when I was unemployed. 


My kids have been physically living with my ex-MIL all of that time and now she is contesting my stopping support for my oldest who is now 21. I cannot afford to support them past 21 and I'm concerned that the magistrate will not care about my situation. The agreement has never seen the light of a family court room.


They are both in community college and MIL has never consulted nor asked me for any input in that or any other aspect of their lives in direct violation of the agreement. Does anyone know whether I would have a case to have support end at 21 as is the law in NY or can/would the magistrate just make me pay. I love my kids and have always tried to be supportive of them in spite of the PAS.


Isn't it what is in the best interests of the children in child support and not the best interests of the custodial parent?

[ocean]

If you had NO paperwork ever with MIL and she is filing the first time now, it should be thrown out at you can not ask for the first time child support after 18. In that case, ask for dismissal as you had no legal obligation to MIL for payment and you did so outside a court order.

If you have court papers with MIL, go and see what the court order exactly says (not anything you may have signed with the mom). Look that paperwork over carefully. NY usually has a child support to 21 unless they are finishing up college, then can go to 23. The judge will rule on that paperwork as that is the law. (NY usually just attaches or adds wording the same for everyone with the above information but your kids are older so look carefully, it may not be there).

Why are the kids still in community college at 21? Did they graduate at 19 and finishing up this year?

Go for a consult with a lawyer (free- $100) and let them look at your paperwork to see what they think and how the magistrates rule in your county.

[MacDad555]

I have been paying support to her since ex passed, not first time.
I have all paper with MIL. I did sign a separation agreement with my ex-wife and MIL had to stipulate to it when she received custody of my daughters.


Both in college so late because of MIL bad parenting and not accepting any help from me. Don't know when they will graduate or what they are doing in school due to lack communication.
Both girls didn't finish high school on time and have had many problems.


Agreement stated I must be consulted and so many other things about school and life and MIL ignored every word. Now she is coming forward and asking that a different court enforce one part and ignore all the rest.
She actually counter petitioned me with an acquiescence of removing oldest daughter and to get an increase for younger.


And then when the judge was ready to order she pulled a single page from the 45 page agreement that said I must pay until they're 25. Can you believe that? Judge may not have been pleased with the fast one she tried, but she did get 3 months more support and I may never see that $$ again if I win.

[MixedBag]

Here's my take....

You made an agreement with Mom -- based on supporting the children......until 25.

Not sure what the NY state law is about emancipating and college, and I'm thinking that it's not gonna matter in court because you made an agreement with Mom that went above and beyond what the court might have ordered.

(WHY?  For example, here in Alabama, a retirement fund is not divisible until after 10 years of marriage, BUT if during mediation or before court, if the couple agrees to split it, then the court isn't gonna say "that's against the law, no you can't do that" they're gonna let it happen. If it were to go to court, then the court will NOT split it -- but sometimes one side "gives" in order to get rid of the court hearing and move on.)

the "can't afford it" -- have you had a change in your income?  Now that side you can bring to court and have CS adjusted accordingly to make it affordable (I know -- tounge in cheek there)....until they turn 25.  When one emancipates as defined by your order, then you go in and adjust CS for the one that's still younger -- and NO CS will not be cut in half because it's not linear.

None of the other stuff matters really when it comes to figuring out CS.  You have to bring that up separately, and maybe the judge will ream Grandma, maybe not.  Personally, I'd ask the court to have all three sign release documents (at this point) so that you have access to any and all records concerning your children because they are over 18.  Even a custodial parent might be denied access to records (medical, educational, dental, insurance) because the child is now an adult.....that's normal.....(and quite the shock to my three kids when I tell them, LOOK you're over 18 now, so I can't handle this for you anymore....they quickly give me permission and cooperate -- and I start teaching)

[MixedBag]

And yea.....this time I disagree with Ocean...(hardly ever happens!)

[MixedBag]

I gotta ad another thought...

What Family Court might allow is for Dad to support each daughter directly as they emancipate the state's law -- (age 21 or 23) instead of paying Grandma directly, he can pay the daughter's directly -- and then get those amounts defined etc...

[MacDad555]

Thanks for the posts, I do appreciate it.
I will definitely bring up the points MixedBag made regarding the releases and paying my adult daughter directly with my lawyer. She is not a child and is just a person living in the same home she grew up in. There really isn't any guardianship that I can see here. Emancipation according to the agreement is either when they marry or when they full time jobs or join the military.
I think that is mostly the same as NY law about emancipation.

I know all the other stuff, bad parenting, PAS won't mean anything to a support magistrate, but if it I have to I'll appeal it to a Family Court judge and make them ALL explain why I have to continue to support after 21.

[MixedBag]

Law is going to include an age.....
Good luck!