How on earth does someone paying child support afford an attorney....

[ukiltmybrutha]

...without wrecking their current life? I have been around for a while, and have noticed that especially on this forum people constantly discuss how their lawyer did this or that for them.

CP/BM simply has to lift it's freshly painted fingernail if they are not getting CS and it costs BM nothing to come after me to get it.

Maybe I am jealous (which I admit I am) (as well as being an impolitically correct hater), but I wonder how anyone could possibly live a decent life fighting battles in the court system while paying child support?

10 years or so ago, I hired an attorney off of my credit card and that was it for me. I never got a square deal and I am always concerned that by rocking the boat I will get screwed out of tons of money by an attorney ON TOP of the child support that I pay today. In fact, should BM choose to pretend not to work e.g. run a business out of her home (which she does) and not report it, I could pay a lawyer 10's of thousands of dollars and walk out of that court room with a huge upward modification.

Nothing against NCP who are wealthy (besides my jealousy of you), but IMHO you would have to be wealthy to fight the perpetual battles I see in court and keep a roof over your head.

The general public consisting of 1st class citizens doesn't seem to even be able to keep a house over their head in this economy. By nature of this debt alone, we are 2nd class citizens.

I don't ever think I will understand how you all continue court battles for years on end with the odds so heavily stacked against you as an NCP. I love my child, but "my" reality comes into play so I leave BM alone.

IMHO, I could tell the judge any statement of fact about the CP and a deaf ear would automatically be turned. The judge rendered me a NCP in the first place, why would I expect a different outcome and risk damaging my life even further dealing with that same "public servant"? That almost feeds the definition of insanity!

Some say not to live your life in fear....must be nice! Unlike some, I didn't have a family who has been financially or emotionally supportive during my custody battle. In fact, they supported BM in both respects. The message was essentially "hurry up and die" during the entire process.  Talk about being damaged psychologically, financially, and emotionally!

I know this is a rant, but would like to hear from you too.

[ocean]

Some things you learn to do yourself, file yourself, do the legwork for the lawyer then only hire for the actual date. Some lawyers will let you hire/fire them so they do not represent you inbetween court dates. Some things you can have a lawyer write a letter and it will go away. You learn to pick and choose which battles to fight. In my state, all family court filings are free, other states small fee.

[ukiltmybrutha]

Well very true. I do all of my work pro se (forgot to mention that). Just seems like a huge number of NCP(s) don't have to do that which surprises me.  Thanks for the additional tips.

[superdad01]

You just have to decide what's more important. Some cash or your kids. Sure your lifestyle will dip a bit but overall the long term benefits like time with your kids outweighs the negatives...  you can do lots of research onlin you can find a reasonable attorne and you should not have a lot of co and you should not have a lot of courtroom battle time

[EdgeOfReason]

Live well under your means. 

Don't call or see the attorney unless absolutely necessary.

Be a full partner in your case including research issues.

Make your own copies and be organized.

Or, have a SO that will do it for you.