Question about paying for braces

[superdad01]

So our daughter needs braces. As per court order we share all uninsured expenses at 50/50. Now mother has talked daughter into wanting the super expensive braces. The ones that you can't tell their even on. The ones that are also prone to being lost and accidentally thrown away. Insurance will only pay once and knowing our daughter she will misplace these. I am trying to take the common sense approach and find a cheaper alternative as in old school braces.

So the question is: If mom decides to get the expensive braces and I am obviously against it... What is the outcome?  We have joint physical and legal but at the end of the day she is going to do what she wants to do.

As an example, If it is ordered that I have to buy the child her first car and mom says she gets a porsche then is that what I got to deal with?

[MixedBag]

I would voice your objection in writing to start documenting your opinion and that it was clearly communicated with the mother.

I would lay it out completely -- stating that there are other alternatives with less possiblity of losing retainers etc..... (NOT that her choice is the most expensive).

I would NOT state that if the child looses something and insurance dosn't pay for a duplicate that you aren't gonna pay either.

THEN when this does happen, you gotta weigh your options.....go back to court and ask for a change in the order regarding braces -- or suck it up and pay.

Now......I gotta go back 20 years with EX#3 and his EX.  His insurance covered 100% of the children's care as long as she followed Tri-Care's rules.  She failed and created bills in his name.  he was responsible for 95% of the unpaid costs -- so there was no incentive in the original order for her to get the children free medical care.   Dad complained in court and the judge sided with HIM......HOWEVER, there was a laundry list of things she was doing and this was just one of those things on the list that he won.

That's my experience....and good luck!

[Kitty C.]

I certainly agree with MB about less expensive alternatives...you could state in your letter that if she decides on the more expensive kind, you will only be willing to pay for 50% of the traditional kind.  But since it's impossible to lose traditional braces (as opposed to the 'Invisaligns'), I would inform her that you will only be paying this ONCE....that if the Invisaligns are lost or broken, you will not be responsible for new ones to replace.  Since there's such a big difference between the two options, IMO I don't think you should even imply to BM that you'd be okay paying for a replacement, let alone the additional original cost above what reg. braces cost.  But that's JMO....

On another note, if you live anywhere near a dental college, you might be able to find a cheaper alternative there.  I work at a dental school and both DS and SS had their braces here....for less than half of what it would cost with a private dentist.

[ocean]

I agree with the others, send her a certified letter stating that you are more than willing to pay for braces but that the medical portion of the reason for the braces is the traditional kind. If she wants cosmetic ones than that is not a medical/dental reason to have them, and she would bear that cost.

Now the real issue is if she brings this to court. You can ask the dentist to give you a letter stating the dental/medical reason for the braces and the cost of traditional braces. Get the billing department to give you that amount. Is this dentist in the medical/dental plan? If you find one in the plan -even cheaper. Get that price. Then file a modification of child support-medial to include "father requests that the mother stay in network for braces and that traditional braces be used instead of the cosmetic ones to reduce out of pocket for both parents. Father requests that if mother goes out of network or goes ahead with the cosmetic braces, that the father be responsible for 50% of traditional braces of an in-network dr which is in the amount of $   (according to Dr. X). 

If there are other children, get this worded for all the kids and put in a line that braces will be paid one time for each child.

[MixedBag]

Whatever position you choose to take -- be ready to stand behind it and that might mean going to court.

[Kitty C.]

Great points, ocean!

[EdgeOfReason]

Are the braces medically necessary or not?

[Jenny82]

I would say pay it. A car & braces a big difference. I don't think a judge will be happy to see u fighting over this if the mother is agreeing to pay half. Plus u may end up spending more fighting over it then ur the bad guy to the kid