spiteful mom

[madgranny]

My son and his ex-girlfriend has a daughter she is 5 years old. They've been on good terms since the break. (It's been four years). But, now he has a serious girlfriend and there expecting. She's now hurt and mad and ants to keep my baby from him. He helps her financially and goes by there and visits regularly but, he pays her in cash that is his biggest fault. (I told him) She states she going to court and get  full custody from him and let them know he does nothing for her and doesn't see her either (which is a lie) What can we do? She has the upper hand being he has no paper work.

[ocean]

He can file first, go to family court and fill out joint custody papers. If she files first, still okay, have him file for joint custody and visitation plan. If she allows any other visitation, take pictures of child/him together (use cell phone?). The visitation plan will then be made at court and then he will have child certain times/days and mom can not say no (well, without being in contempt of court).
No more cash, pay daycare or bills directly or NO MONEY. Tell mom, you will pay half of daycare of bills until court. Have him save the money in an account. They will NOT count the money he is giving her now and he will have to pay her again

Family court is free or small fee to file so have him go down first thing tomorrow for joint custody and visitation paperwork and get it started. He should have his first court date in January...depending if they can agree to a schedule , he may have to go to court several times.

VERY IMPORTANT- He does not have to agree and go to trial. What he signs now will be basically until child is teen. It is VERY VERY VERY hard to change schedule once the first one is ordered so get everything into first order including summer longer visits, holiday schedule, birthday of child and him, fathers day, halloween (not usually in holiday schedule). He needs days and times of pick ups. Have the order state "father will pick up first, third , and fifth Friday from school dismissal until xx on Sunday night. (state who gets child at end of visit).

IF it is not written he does not have it. There are a lot of parenting plans on this site and internet. Come up with a good one with everything he may need. Post it here and we can tweek it even more if you want. Look at the school calendar for long weekends. He should be getting at the very least, every other weekend and one day during the week , half the summer, and half holidays (either half the actual day or every other year).

[Davy]

I may be mistaken.  It  has been my understanding that the unmarried father MUST FIRST establish paternity in many jurisdictions.

[MixedBag]

Good point Davy, but he might already be on the birth certificate too.

Nice seeing ya!