Home Inspection

[clayberg]

I am still living with stbx, we are contesting custody of children and so are currently undergoing a custody evaluation. I have been told by evaluator that they will come out to the house to see how we live. We have 2 small children.

I have a few questions regarding this :

1, The house isn't the tidyest of places and what with all the stress of divorce it is getting a bit dirty in places now. Should I clean it up before the home evaluation / inspection ? Or if I leave it , will it look worse on her ?
I know I should clean it up for the children's sake, and I have been doing. But she is painting me as the devil incarnate and herself as the perfect mother. So I see it as a dammed if you do dammed if you don't scenario - I clean up and she is the perfect homemaker, I don't and I'm not much of a father for exposing our kids to that :(

2, When an evaluator comes to a home, can they go through any part of your house ? Open cupboards, look in nooks and crannies for anything they can pin on you - for example say you say you don't drink and they find a whiskey bottle tucked away high on a shelf

TIA

[mistoffolees]

>I am still living with stbx, we are contesting custody of
>children and so are currently undergoing a custody evaluation.
>I have been told by evaluator that they will come out to the
>house to see how we live. We have 2 small children.
>
>I have a few questions regarding this :
>
>1, The house isn't the tidyest of places and what with all the
>stress of divorce it is getting a bit dirty in places now.
>Should I clean it up before the home evaluation / inspection ?
>Or if I leave it , will it look worse on her ?
>I know I should clean it up for the children's sake, and I
>have been doing. But she is painting me as the devil incarnate
>and herself as the perfect mother. So I see it as a dammed if
>you do dammed if you don't scenario - I clean up and she is
>the perfect homemaker, I don't and I'm not much of a father
>for exposing our kids to that :(

Clean it up. It's the right thing to do and you need to start getting in the habit.

In my experience, gamesmanship (trying to play games to make the other person look bad) is just as likely to hurt you as her. Just get in the habit of putting the kdis first - they should have a clean house, so clean it up.

>
>2, When an evaluator comes to a home, can they go through any
>part of your house ? Open cupboards, look in nooks and
>crannies for anything they can pin on you - for example say
>you say you don't drink and they find a whiskey bottle tucked
>away high on a shelf

I don't know for sure, but I would imagine that they can ask for just about anything. Since it's your house, you can refuse, but be aware that it probably won't look good.