Joint custody Help... Why Can't I beat the system?

[superdad01]

How do you get Joint Custody?
This is a question I have asked myself many times over. I'm located in Michigan. I have been in a long drawn out court battle for joint custody over my 5 year old daughter the last couple years. To sum it up quickly, During the initial proceedings after only hearing 1/2 the case The judge told me that me that my best bet was to make an agreement with the other party because I was not gonna like what he said. I feel I had a very solid case. but when you hear that it just makes you give up. Since both parties knew that, basically I was gonna lose they would not agree to anything with the word joint in it. When the order was entered I was working 3rd shift at the time.

I was awarded the label secondary physical custody: ( which I guess is a fancy word for nothing.) I ended up with an agreement of parenting time 10 out of every 14 days. (which is alot of parenting time.) I only had the standard every other weekend overnight visits. 3 weeks vacation time on top of all your standard holidays etc. I also get to claim her every other year for tax purposes. I also pay full childsupport of $500/month. my ex was imputed at minimum wage... lol We was also ordered to split transportation and medical insurance (same school district) The ex has since taken be back to court and paid an attorney to say she did not have a car. I now provide 100% transportation and 100% medical.

I have been employed with the same company for the last 8 years. I own my own home, I make decent money but the Mother has been unemplyed for the last 3 years, cannot support herself and lives with her parents. Some how her having sole custody (so to speak) is in the best interest of the child??? She is currently in school for nursing and should be working by summer. Somehow I doubt it.

I have now moved into a 1st shift position: 5am to 1:30pm. I am being shortchanged 40 hrs per month of parenting time since the last order with no make-up being allowed by mother. I have filed motion for change in parenting time to include overnights which inturn affects the custody label. I have asked for 4 days on 3 days off 2 week schedule. We was refered to the FOC for the parenting time person to make a recomendation. We went in she seemed nice and seemed to identify with my situation. I have been denied visitation, accused of assault, parental allienation, you name it, it's happened. I even managed to make it through the entire meeting without mentioning the words childsupport... I curently go back and forth on a daily basis pick up and drop off to have parenting time with our daughter. My feeling is that the child will benefit much more from more uninterupted parenting time with each parent than to be shipped back and forth on a daily basis. (do I need to prove this?... Common sense don't seem to identify with the court system.) It would also help eliminate the sometimes stressfull situations that have arisen due to our seeing eachother everyday. I am wore out from going back and forth and my daughter is worn out from it as well. She often falls asleep on the way home. I been doing this for the past 2 years. The mother refuses to help with transportation because she claims to not have access to her boyfriends car she drives everyday to her clinicals and every where else, etc.

after 3 months and many phone calls trying to get this lady to do her job I finally get the report back. Denied. Now every lawyer I have spoken with has has told me that the courts want you on 1st shift for any kind of joint custody order to work in your favor. The parenting time specialist Melinda gaither got some of my information wrong in the report such as my work schedule (wrong hours )and other things as well. She said my change in circumstance is not strong enough to warrent a change in overnights. She did however say I could have weekly rotating parenting time in the summer. She also made mention that I would not be avaible to get the child off to school in the mornings since I am on 1st shift. Now if and when mother works she will be most likey 1st shift and she will be in the same situation I am. not there in the mornings. The real kicker she adjusted my childsupport to increase by $40 a month. I technically make less now because I am now paying for my health insurance which I was not before. I have my child on almost a daily basis and I am paying as much as someone who has their kid every other weekend. I could use some advice. I do have an attoney but for some reason evertime we go to court the court seems to bend over backwards for her and the madness continues...

I need some ideas for a plan of attack... any advice would be appreciated.

[HelpingHands]

Ask for child support modification, it should include deviated deductions for you providing 100% of travel, for you providing 100% of medical and the fact that you have % of parenting time.

If the facts are misrepresented and that was her basis for her decision, then you may be able to provide proof to the court. I'm not sure what motions you would file, or if your case is over the appeals level, but you need an attorney who is going to be aggressive at trial.

[backwardsbike]

Man- do I ever identify with your situation- and I'm a non custodial MOM!  Yepper- more and more of us every year and we get shafted just like the dad's.  An euqual opportunity bummer!

I htink the courts like to set custody one time adn then make that stick for the duration.  They don't seem to realize that epopel , hopefully, grow and change.  The kids and the parents.

Ihave just let go of my children.  My DS turned 18 on Thursday and my DD is 14.5.  It just got to be too much.  Constant lying.  Trips to the GAL after every weeeknd visit but NEVER once a requestt o go home during a visit.  They say they are afraid of my husbadn who has a clean child abuse clearance record.  I am a nurse and now a master's candidate in a clinical counseling program at a Big 10 university.

Dad makes 70K but takes $150 from me.  That's all he can get due tot he factt hat I am disabled and have returned to school so that I can continue to work rather than live off social security.  DO you think he ever knows the $150 is there? heck no- but must take it from me adn the two small kinds my Dh and I have now.  Its prue vindiciveness adn the courts refuse to do anything in spite of emails between him ad the daughter showing that they set up the whole thing about saying the kids are afraid when they are here.  Alienation at its best.

I fought for nine years to have a place in my kids lives adn have given up.  Maybe when they are adults for a bit and have failed at a few relationships due to the narcissistic ways they've learned to realt to others from thier dear ole dad they will see the light.

Anyways- best of luck to you friend.  But I wouldn't look for any considerable time unless the child hits 12 ot 14 and wants to spend time with you.  Then if the judge decides to lister you may finally get more time but probably not enought to change CS.