Question about removing kids from state

[Bones]

My ex and I have joint and shared custody of our 2 children. The kids spend equal time with us both and both of us are active in their upbringing.

Our divorce is less than a year old and now my ex wants to leave and move 900 miles away to be with a man she just married last week. The kids have only met this man one time yet she has petitioned the court for approval to remove the children from the state.

My lawyer feels confident that the court will not grant her the permission but also has indicated that anything can happen and that we can't be too confident.

Does anyone know the facts about how easy or difficult this will be for her to accomplish? I can't see that a judge would go along with this as I can't see that it is in the best interest of the kids to be uprooted from their family and home and friends to move across country to live with a man they don't know.

I am a well respected member of my community and have a great job and home. I can't think it will be easy for her.

Anyone have any statistics to look or any information about this? Thanks in advance for any replies.

[mistoffolees]

I don't have any statistics and your attorney is right - anything can happen.

Since you have joint custody, the standard which will be applied is 'what is best for the kids'. There are a zillion factors the judge will (or, at least, should) consider:

1. Who do they spend the most time with? Since you're 50:50, that helps your case.
2. Which is a more stable, healthy home environment (drugs, alcohol, etc enter into this factor)?
3. What age are the kids? Are they in school? Other activities?
4. What about family, etc. How close are they to their family and how often do they see them? How much would that change if they moved?
5. What are the child care arrangements? Since it's going to have to go from shared custody to one parent having primary physical, do either or both parents have a good plan for child care (including normal work-related child care and also when the child is sick)?
6. It really shouldn't matter, but the sex of the children may become an issue, too. Some judges still think that girls do better with their mother and boys do better with their father (particularly if the kids are a bit older), but this is unpredictable.

Unless there's some other hidden factor, all the facts are on your side. Unfortunately, there are still a few judges of the 'kids belong with their mother' persuasion which is why the attorney says anything can happen. Here in the Bible belt, there are lots of those judges. In other parts of the country, it's less common.

All you can really do is strengthen your case based on all of the above (make sure the kids spend time with the rest of their family while this is pending, for example) and hope for the best.

[Bones]

Thanks for the response. To answer your questions...

1. The kids are actually with me more than their mother, probably 60/40 as they attend school here in the town I live in. Their mother lives 15 miles away and has regular hours at work. I am flexible in my work as I own my own business and take off days and leave work when needed. I am the one responsible for getting the kids after school, etc., even on days that they are not supposed to be with me.

2. Both households are stable.

3. The kids are both boys, ages 10 and 5. They are involved in normal kid things like football and basketball, etc., of which I have never missed a game.

4. Both my extended family and my ex wife's parents live here in my town. Grandparents see the kids weekly and are active in their lives. Grandparents would be extremely limited if the kids are 900 miles away.

5. Both have good plans for childcare but like I said, I am very flexible and can leave work at any time.

6. They are both boys, maybe positive for me.

I failed to mention that my ex wife became pregnant while dating her now new husband. I feel this is a major reason for her wanting to leave now, she has no choice. Also, her new hubby is in the military and cannot move here which is why she is opting to move with him. She will be moving there with him whether she gets approval from the court or not.

I'm not in the bible belt and the judge that has been assigned to my case has been called by my lawyer as 'the best draw' I could have gotten as the judge is, himself, a single father.

Thanks for your help.

[mistoffolees]

Given all of that, I'd say your odds are about as good as it gets in this business.

BTW, your ex's pregnancy is completely irrelevant as far as the custody issue. However, it does open another strategy for you - any delays in the process will probably work in your favor since she will have to move regardless of whether she gets the kids.

Sounds like your attorney is on top of things, though.

Good luck.

[Bones]

Thanks again for your reply. My attorney said that in all of his years doing these cases that I have the strongest case he has ever had, which makes me feel better.

Just out of curiousity are you affiliated with this site? What background do you have in these cases. You've been very helpful.

[mistoffolees]

I'm not affiliated with this site in any way other than posting because I'm interested. My experience is based on what I've had to go through and an attorney who explained things well.