A much needed rant

[swimminsasquatch]

Before I begin to depress all of you, I would like to offer my thanks for allowing myself and my family to read your experiences and to gather strength from them in our times of need.

With a heavy and sorrowful heart, I have finally given up on the entire family court system. Today I have learned that my Brother-in-Law, in his marathon 4+ year divorce process, has been denied any sort of equitable parenting plan for his two children. For the past year and a half he has had the children at least three nights out of the week. Now his role has been reduced to that of a visitor with every other weekend visitation. I am at a loss as to how a judge can order a change this dramatic with no evidence other than my BIL will not communicate with the STBX in any way other that through a fax machine. (This is because STBX refuses to lift the restraining order on BIL, even though she has agreed to lift it twice, in writing.)

It all started when the STBX removed the children from the marital home, and refused my BIL from seeing the children. My BIL then filed for divorce, and two days later the STBX file a bogus restraining order. As most of you are aware this is the nuclear option in divorce cases, and boy did it work here. Since then my BIL has jumped through every hoop the court has thrown at him: Anger management counseling, parenting classes, supervised visitation, Parenting evaluator, Mediation, etc... Coming out each time with flying colors. Slowly, but surely he fought his way up to almost 50-50 parenting. All the while having to fight just to get any school, or medical information. (She refuses to list him as the parent on any form. He is BTW)

Every time there was a court case the STBX would complain that my BIL was not willing to co-parent, because he would not speak to her directly. (Again, a violation of the restraining order) The judge bought it hook line and sinker. At the latest court hearing the judge only asked her what she wanted the custody to be. He did not once ask my BIL what his wishes were and try to come up with a compromise. Lo' and behold his ruling was exactly what she wanted. Never mind the fact that the children enjoy their time with their father, and vice-versa. Does "the best interest of the children" mean anything anymore?

The judge also ordered in court that my BIL give the STBX his cell-phone number, and home address right then and there. He does not have any of this information of hers. (Again, because of the restraining order) He has been effectively cut off from communication with his children except for two nights every other week, and she has two new tools in her arsenal to harass my BIL.

Hopefully we can finally get the restraining order lifted when that trial comes around. Although my optimism grows weaker everyday. She has claimed that her goal was to put him behind bars, and now that she has all this power, I am truly fearful that that will be her next step in removing my BIL from his children's lives.

Thank you for letting me get this off of my chest. Again I apologize if I have depressed any of you.