child care during on-duty parent's working hours

[imtrying]

Hello thank you for taking the time to read my question.

Parents with joint custody and an alternating week, equal shared physical custody arrangement have come to loggerheads concerning after school care for their twelve year old daughter.

Historically, mother handles before and after school care and provides transportation to and from school.  Historically, father drops child off at mother's home in the morning before school and picks child up from mother's home after work (approx. 6 pm).  Mother and father live in close proximity.

Father is agreeable to mother continuing transportation to and from school,  but requests that child be delivered to his home and left in the care of the child's step mother by four pm each day.   This will ensure that the child participates in the same schedule and routine as her step brother and half sister each day after school, and keep her involved in family activities.

Mother adheres to the notion that when father is not personally available to care for the child, that the option to do so should naturally fall to her as the biological parent.  Additionally, the child has expressed anxiety concerning step mother's behavior toward her in her father's absence, indicating that step mother engages her in a confrontational manner .... that step mother becomes aggressive and 'bullies' her in a way which she (step mother)  does not display in front of the father.

Any thoughts on how this may be handled?

Thank you for your polite attention despite your busy schedule.
Sincerely,
-imtrying

[Jade]

>Hello thank you for taking the time to read my question.
>
>Parents with joint custody and an alternating week, equal
>shared physical custody arrangement have come to loggerheads
>concerning after school care for their twelve year old
>daughter.
>
>Historically, mother handles before and after school care and
>provides transportation to and from school.  Historically,
>father drops child off at mother's home in the morning before
>school and picks child up from mother's home after work
>(approx. 6 pm).  Mother and father live in close proximity.
>
>Father is agreeable to mother continuing transportation to and
>from school,  but requests that child be delivered to his home
>and left in the care of the child's step mother by four pm
>each day.   This will ensure that the child participates in
>the same schedule and routine as her step brother and half
>sister each day after school, and keep her involved in family
>activities.
>
>Mother adheres to the notion that when father is not
>personally available to care for the child, that the option to
>do so should naturally fall to her as the biological parent.
>Additionally, the child has expressed anxiety concerning step
>mother's behavior toward her in her father's absence,
>indicating that step mother engages her in a confrontational
>manner .... that step mother becomes aggressive and 'bullies'
>her in a way which she (step mother)  does not display in
>front of the father.
>
>Any thoughts on how this may be handled?
>
>Thank you for your polite attention despite your busy
>schedule.
>Sincerely,
>-imtrying

Since it has been established that the mother is the one who cares for the child before and after school, that is the status quo.  And judge's don't like to change that unless the child is not doing well.  And the not doing well would have to be drastic.  

If the father wants the non-parent to care for the child, then he will have to go to court and tell a judge why a non parent would be better to care for the child over the parent.   And the judge will either keep the status quo (which is what I think will happen) or give the father what he is asking for (which I don't think will happen).  

As for the difference in behavior on the stepmom's part, has the child talked to the father?  

[mistoffolees]

It's hard to give advice without knowing more information.

What does the court order say about the topic?
And how long has the current schedule been going on?
And how old are the kids?
When does father get home from work?

Child's relationship with SM is a different issue. Child needs to discuss it with the father or, if that's not possible, mother needs to discuss with the father. However, it's not uncommon for one parent to blow stepparent issues out of proportion, so it may not really be an issue to worry about. I'd need more facts to even discuss it.