what would you do?

[superdad01]

So can I ask you a quick question. Wondering how to go about this situation. Daughter is soon to be 13. Raised by a narcissistic. This child no calls no shows her baby sister birthday. No calls on my birthday in fact don't show much interest in anyone seen birthday on our side of family. Now it's her birthday. Really torn on what to do. Do we throw her a party? I feel like we're rewarding bad behavior. Or do we give her what we get from her. I got a feeling she won't understand the concept were laying out. We always throw her a party but No clue what to do.

[ocean]

13 is still young and teachable moments. If she was with mom during your birthdays she was not getting taught the right thing to do from mom. Maybe talk to her the next time you see her and explain her behavior and how would it feel if you /sibling "forgot" her birthday. If she has a cell phone, show her how to use calendar. Still celebrate her birthday and see how she participates in your family as she gets older.

[MixedBag]

What Ocean said and do something in between.....

[superdad01]

We've tried teaching moments. When she is with mom nothing else matters. Case in point we went to holiday thing. Kids could make cards. She made one for mom and not dad. Well she got told to make one for me... lol for my birthday she spend early day at grandmas. My girlfriend said make your dad a card. She dident.

[ocean]

When kids were younger, I would bring them to store for DH birthday so they could pick out a card/small gift. You are just getting into the "fun"girl years. It is all about them, drama, and their friends. When it comes near the sibling birthday, the time before that, take her to store to pick out her own present. Same for your birthday and father's day. She does not have the means to do it at mom's. Whoever helps her with your gifts, stay on top of her, and say "let's go, time to go get dad a father's day card/present for next time you are here". When they start to drive is when I saw a shift of them wanting to go to store themselves and I did not have to do it anymore.