Recording during exchange

[dipper]

Hi,  we are set to go back to court on Sept 22nd.   Several agreement conferences and a court date have been postponed due to the mother being in the hospital.  She just got out of a 16 day stay on Sunday.   When we met to exchange child to her care, her mother got out and walked behind her all the way to our van door...she was recording with her phone and always has the flash on.   We have no problem with her recording as she only began after seeing we do it.   However, we find it very frustrating and confrontational that since the mother of child got ill in July, the grandmother always gets out of car and walks right beside her with the camera up in the air.  Sunday, she was literally within 4 feet of my husband's face with it.


Only one of us gets out of the vehicle during exchanges....the person recording stays in the vehicle.   We want the grandmother to stay in her vehicle or stand beside it as we feel her presence is meant to be intimidating....or possibly the mother of child is so unsteady on her feet they are worried she will topple over...not sure. 


The child always cries when she goes back to them and we really want the exchanges to be as tension-free as possible.  Thoughts?

[MixedBag]

smile and waive to the camera and be overly nice to her?  Maybe that will drive her off?

Not sure you can do anything about that really.....

[Kitty C.]

I like that, MB!  Kill 'em with kindness!

[dipper]

We did smile...we always smile when picking child up as we are always very excited to pick her up.  We try to soothe her when we are having to drop her off, as it is very hard on her.   


Today, I got out as well and they stayed in their space, I stayed over near our van.  Oh, they were all smiles today - they usually look like they are ready to spit nails.  After they got back in their vehicle, they sat their still recording...so, I sat...and they sat...then they pulled off a little, stopped and just kept recording us.....sitting....and then they pulled to the store next door...and sat to record us as we drove by...so I beeped and waved. 


This is all clearly being done just to be irritating and it's working...cause it is very irritating and yes, I do know I was being stubborn by sitting there instead of pulling off.  But, seriously...recording us sitting or pulling off...that serves no purpose.   

[MixedBag]

ok, here's the thing.

When you know they're playing a game to get under your skin, YOU gotta learn to play it better (quickly).

BOTH sides look like they want to control....neither one wanted to leave.  Next time, just leave.  See...  they were waiting on you to see if you were going to follow them.  SO you needed to leave first, 'cause who knows where they were going really.  It's a GAME.  Play it better - by not playing back and taking the bait.

I remember one time when Dad and Fake-wife played kissy face on the porch while I was in the driveway waiting on our son to come out.....I had my Step-son with me (they didn't know that)....and he asked "Why are they acting like that?"  And I could say "To make me upset...."  And he said "That's dumb.  Playing kissy face is dumb."  He was about 7....bless his heart.    But it was a game -- to show me how "much they were into each other"....and I was thinking "Fine, you can have him/Dad, but I'm still our son's Mom....so get over it."

Today....I really chuckle at all the games they played....for my sake....to get under my skin.  And it was THIS place that taught me to see it for what it is and move on....