Visit from CPS & other misc goodies.

[superdad01]

The Latest update. I had a visit with CPS today. They told me She didn't see it going anywhere. but wont know anything until final report. Case is being transferred as child lives in different county.

So child is in counseling and mom told me that the therapist said that I should have my parenting time temp suspended until the child is ready and until the therapist is ready to include me in the therapy sessions.  Which I guess I can understand that.... So I made contact with the therapist today. I wanted a timeline as to when they thought I could be included.  Apparently the therapist never suggested that my parenting time be suspended.  She also told me that mom decided she did not like her as a therapist and decided to get a different therapist. so this therapist is no longer working with my child. My theory is the therapist noticed the brainwashing mom has done or the therapist disagreed with mom's diagnosis.  Her appointment for this week is cancelled and she has a new appointment at the end of the month. so In the meantime what do I do with all my parenting time days?

So I clearly caught mom in a lie. I have the message on my voicemail.  I Initially told her I would agree to suspend parenting time but now I don't know what to do. I told her anything we did would have to be in writing.  obviously, I don't want to have the kid kicking and screaming to go spend time with me. I'm also very conscious of our court order and I just don't want to not show up for parenting time when i'm supposed to have it.

I think possible we need to both agree on a therapist who is unbiased.

[ocean]

File for a court appointed therapist to provide visitation therapy for you and child. You can try and find your own therapist and then ask the courts to appoint that therapist for your visitations so dad can reconnect with daughter and work through issues in family counseling setting without interference. When you do the petition write something like "mother has fired last therapist when therapist disagreed that my visitations should not be suspended. mother is shopping for a therapist that agrees with taking away father's time. Father requests courts to order family counseling with father and child with an independent court ordered therapist. Father requests that the therapist have control on future visits and that phone calls, texts, and social media remain intact." something like that?
What would happen if you went to get her? Would she refuse to come out? I would try and see what happens, record everything, save texts, and if she does not come with you- call local police to write a report that mother is refusing to send child. They usually will write a report and not get involved. This proves you tried to go get her until court. When was the last time you saw her?

[superdad01]

I last seen and talked to the child 9 days ago. I have not technically lost any parenting time until this coming weekend. I don't know what's gonna happen. Just so paranoid about going back to court.

[ocean]

Send a text/email or overnight letter stating that your intent to visit. You can use the form on this site or a simple:
Ex,
I will continue to follow the court ordered visitation and will be picking xx up this weekend at xx am as court ordered on page xx. I have spoken to xx therapist and she agrees to continue visits.
Thank you
You

What did child say at last visit?

[superdad01]

The funny thing is this has all come from left field. Had a good weekend with the child the last weekend we had. I have photos time and date stamped on my phone showing child smiling etc.

I talked with my lawyer and their are no grounds to deny my parenting time. CPS has told me that they have no issues with me exercising my parenting time as the court order trumps all.  Mom says she can still use these allegations to deny my parenting time because that's what cps and her lawyer told her. So apparently CPS has told mom one thing, and told me the exact opposite.

I sent mom a text yesterday stating if I lose any parenting time will she allow make-up parenting time? she did not respond all day. they she called, saying she wasn't sure. then it was her only weekend of the month and how I have every weekend. I also responded by saying it has been 10 days since I have seen or heard from the child.

I also came up with a plan to have child spend the weekend at her friends house. The parents are close friends of mine and mom has never had an issue with them before. I could visit and have all safeguards in place so mom would feel at ease. CPS agreed this would be a good idea. mom then said she would leave it up to the child which child is claiming to not want to go. The last thing I really want to do is make a bad situation worse by having a already upset child  start kicking and screaming to avoid leaving to go have fun with her friends.

No clue on what to do.

[MixedBag]

Read Divorce Poison....

For a split second -- a very split second -- if "something" truly happened, then I would agree, YES any parent can withhold time with the other parent -- BUT the very next move better be to file a motion in court to back it up.

And now that that split second is over.....that's how fast it would go .... I agree with Ocean, send a letter/text stating that your child and you are going to continue following the court order. 

Probably another reason on the list as to why my EX hated me so much, when I said I was gonna do A or B.....I followed through.  And yes, that meant going to court -- tough luck -- it was THE only way to show the court an established pattern of dad's behavior and attitude and for our son it worked. 

[tigger]

Mom says she can still use these allegations to deny my parenting time because that's what cps and her lawyer told her. So apparently CPS has told mom one thing, and told me the exact opposite.

I wouldn't count on that.  She may be banking on you being so scared you'll submit to whatever she says because you think CPS is against you.  My ex's wife would tell me things and send letters that were supposedly from my ex.  I finally put a stop to it (instead of just ignoring it) by sending the letter back to him, registered, return receipt, HIS signature being the only authorized signature, with a letter telling him that I told him from the beginning I wouldn't accept any letter without his original signature but I was done getting the nastigrams.   If he wanted to accept the letter as coming from him, he needed to sign it and send it back to me.  Otherwise I would assume we had an issue of 3rd person interference and if I got another letter like that I would take that one and all past letters to the court to request action.  What action did I expect?  None really.  I was pretty sure he knew nothing of the nasty letters his wife was sending to me pretending they were from him and knew that once he knew about it, they would stop.  And they did.     My point is, just because she tells you her lawyer said, or CPS said, or her religious leader said, or the teacher said, DO NOT BELIEVE IT without following up with the supposed sayer. 

[ocean]

Yup, call, fax, or email her lawyer right now and state you intend to pick up child at scheduled court ordered time and that their client is informing you that they told her she can stop visitation. Make it clear that you will be there. Send same text to ex
"I have tried different ways to see xx this weekend, but since we can not agree we are forced to follow the court order in place. I will be picking up xx at xx tomorrow for my parenting time. Tell her I look forward to our weekend and will see her at xx pm."

[Kitty C.]

'I talked with my lawyer and their are no grounds to deny my parenting time. CPS (http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.366) has told me that they have no issues with me exercising my parenting time as the court order (http://deltabravo.net/cms/search.php?q=court+order&s=Search&r=0) trumps all.  Mom says she can still use these allegations to deny my parenting time because that's what cps and her lawyer told her. So apparently CPS has told mom one thing, and told me the exact opposite.

I sent mom a text yesterday stating if I lose any parenting time will she allow make-up parenting time? she did not respond all day. they she called, saying she wasn't sure. then it was her only weekend of the month and how I have every weekend. I also responded by saying it has been 10 days since I have seen or heard from the child.

I also came up with a plan to have child spend the weekend at her friends house. The parents are close friends of mine and mom has never had an issue with them before. I could visit and have all safeguards in place so mom would feel at ease. CPS agreed this would be a good idea. mom then said she would leave it up to the child which child is claiming to not want to go. The last thing I really want to do is make a bad situation worse by having a already upset child  start kicking and screaming to avoid leaving to go have fun with her friends.'

Sounds like scare tactics on BM's part.  DH's ex did the same thing the first Christmas we had SS after DH and I got together.  She threatened to call the cops if we didn't return SS by X-mas evening, when we were supposed to have him until 2 days after.  Thank goodness for SPARC, because I KNEW that the cops wouldn't get involved.  She sure had DH completely stressed out.....he was certain that the cops would come to our door and take SS away if we didn't take him back that night.  We kept him and, after BM called the sheriff's office, the deputy told her she needed to contact her atty.

As for the kicking and screaming part.....if you've NEVER seen this kind of behavior in your child previous to this, and you saw her 9 days ago and she was fine then, I think that's another scare tactic BM is using.  She would have to be doing some SERIOUS brainwashing in a short amount of time with some pretty horrific stories to cause the child to refuse to go.  Either that or she's promising Disneyland (or some other event that the child would be really excited to go to).  Otherwise, IMO I think she's blowing smoke on that one....