Mediation

[UtahCase]

My boyfriend is getting ready to go in for mediation in a couple weeks, he has been fighting his ex for custody for nine months now and so far, neither he or his ex are budging on anything. They live in separate states so visitation is going to end up being based on school year (is my guess anyway). He has a better support system for him and his son here and it is genuinely just a better environment for his son to be raised in. The problem that seems to be coming up is with the personality of both him and his ex, both very stubborn, and I think their hatred for one another is really the only thing that is keeping this from settling. Is there any advice that anyone can give me to help the situation? I told him to maybe go for custody and have him during the school year and allow her to have him during the summer, as well as come to Utah once every few months for a week to take him. His statement back to me was that she will realize that she has to pay for all these flights for visitation, so I told him to offer to split the cost, and he said no because he doesn't want to do anything to help her. I also told him that by getting hung up on small details then he's going to make himself look bad. Financially, he's in a better position than she is, and our plan is to get a home and get married, which at that point, our dual income is significantly more than what she will probably ever make, so to be hung up on finances is bad in my opinion.

[tigger]

The parents must love the child more than they hate each other.  Until that happens the only loser will be the child.

[ocean]

Who has child now?
If mom does, then next to a miracle , they probably will not change custody to him. It takes A LOT to take away custody from mom so he better start looking at long distance visitation plans and start negotiating.

Who moved away? If he moved away from her then he will get stuck with most of the travel costs. Some states will allow him to get a credit to child support in order to pay for travel.

Most long distance is the day after school gets out to the week before school starts up again in the fall. Look at a school calendar and see when their long vacations are and work from there. In the NE states, we have breaks at: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Feb (week off), Spring break (Easter).  IF child is younger, still look at school calendar and put in what will happen when child is 5.

For you, let him handle it and support him. If he wants he can read the many posts on here that will show him that father's getting custody is not the norm in family court even when you can prove you are the better parent.