VISITATION IN OREGON

[braveheart503]

 
I would like to know how one should go about seeking visitation access
to my two children. I currently live in the state of Alabama, and have
two children that live in Oregon. Presently my phone calls are being
blocked because I had my child support order modified to reflect my
current income (was downsized from a previous job that paid extremely
more money.


I have yet to receive any report cards from daughters school, very
limited phone access, or very limited visitation. Each time I attempt to
visit the children, I'm being told that they have an engagement of some
sort.


I'm currently caught back up on my child, have no criminal record, work
full time, and have 6 months until graduating from college if this
helps.


I have recently contacted the school via the email, and have not
received any response as of yet. It's been about a month. I presently
don't have legal custody, or a visitation schedule set up with the
courts or with the mother of the children. Should I go ahead and get
this now, or follow the steps of documenting denial of access first?



just need to know if I should first play the game with the ex and
document for a few more months to show that I have tried to be
reasonable by sending a fed ex letter with my present wk, home hone
numbers, address and emergency contact numbers?
 
 
The only communication I have right now is with the kids  grandmother
and great grandparents. I have a few months detailed documentation, but
have never formally asked in right for access to the children.
 
Should I take the step of going directly to the courts or try to exhaust
every effort to contact the mother in reason, and if this doesn't
produce hire the attorney and then go to court?
 
How long should this take?
 

[Kitty C.]

Until you get a CO, you CANNOT hold the mother to anything.  You are at her whim as to IF you have any access to your child whatsoever.  BTW, how did you get divorced without a custody order?

Seems like you've pretty much exhausted any reasonable contact with the mother, your only alternative now is court.  BUT, since the children live in another state and probably have for more than 6 months, you will need to find an atty. in OR before you can even proceed.  OR will be the state of jurisdiction, so be prepared to do a LOT of traveling to get anything accomplished.  

You have an extremely hard, uphill battle ahead of you.  One suggestion I could make:  when you graduate, move as close to your kids as you possibly can.  LD visitation is hard enough, but a LD custody battle is almost impossible.

[braveheart503]

I really don't believe that it's gonna be so hard of a battle. It's nothing more than filling a few papers in court to establish a visitation order. My schooling is onlinem so I can pretty much travel and study wherevever I go.

As for flying back and forth to Portland, my work schedule is pretty flexible. I just have to plan my time accordingly.


I'm not gonna let distance be an issue anymore.

I just need to know what steps to take for:


1. I have never been married to the mother of my children.

2. Paternity papers (states that I am the father) and a support order was established in 1999 in Multnomah county.

3. The mother has had temporary custody since 1998. This was granted to her through a bogus restraining order issued by Multnomah county court.

4. I have yet to have my children visit my home since 1998.
Last question,

Is the "motion to show cause document" the document I need to file?
It's to my understanding that once this paper is filled, the mother of the children has to respond in 30 days of the date served.
The fee is $329.00. Will I have to fly to Portland to file this document myself? or can I have an attorney file this document for me?
Also, will this previous restraining order in 1998 affect my chances of obtaining joint-legal custody of my children? I haven't had contact with the mother since this restraining order stunt in 1998.
Thank you so much,

[Kitty C.]

You might want to pose the legal questions to Socrateaser, our resident legal guru.  You will either have to life them in person or have your atty. file them in person.  Do you have an atty. in OR lined up yet?  I don't want to rain on your parade, but you need to expect to pay dearly to fight this as far away as you are.  It's very likely that an OR atty. will charge you a larger retainer because you are from out of state.  These cases are NEVER easy.

And now that you say there was an RO on you from her in the past, it will make it that much more difficult.  First things first, get an atty. THERE.  Be prepared to go there at the drop of a hat, and pay premium for airfare, and be at EVERY court appearance that you are required to, even if your atty. will be there.  Failing to show can give default judgement to the mother and you'd be screwed.

[braveheart503]

No I haven't found an attorney as of yet. I'm really trying to find answers to most of my questions before hiring an attorney. The cost is not an issue, I just want to be with my children. I'm ready to spend $10,000 if I have to.


My point is that I'm not gonna pay all of this child support and not see my children. I'm current on all of my child support, I'm a good person, but got shaffted with the bogus restraining order which removed my kids from the home.


I have no criminal record, not even a misdemeanor, so I know that I shouldn't have to much of a problem getting my rights established. My biggest issue was that I had no money when the restraining order was pitted aginst me.

Now is not the case. I've saved every dime I can get my hards on to fight this. I do not care to move back to the state where my children live at this time.


I just basically want to see my kids for the holidays, summers etc. I'm willing to pay travel for the kids to fly and see me, I'm just not willing to go through the hassel of the parent blocking me.



I thought my first step would be is to read and learn all that I an about family law, and from others who have simlar situations with custody/ visitation. No sense of spending money with no education. "Fools and money divorce faster than fools in love."


Thank you so much for your response

I look forward to your replies