Weather Related Question

[dipper]

I just wanted to ask what is standard for bad weather.  We *might* get snow/freezing rain on Friday through Saturday morning.  We have the child for the entire week until 10 a.m. Saturday morning.   What would be considered appropriate should there be a risk of travelling during that time?


a. offer to exchange child on Friday at 10:00 a.m. and receive child back at an earlier time than noted in order (as trade off)
b. Just stick with the Saturday exchange and if travel cannot be made at that time, exchange as soon as conditions are safe.


I am talking about if there is an actual travel warning, not just us saying we do not want to go out.  In a situation where the ability to exchange child at noted time cannot be conducted, is it normal to make-up time (if both sides are agreeable) or does the party to receive child just lose part of their time during that one visitation round?


Thank you!

[ocean]

I would wait a few days and then if you are still in the storm zone they will start to put up warnings. You can use the warnings for reason for not driving. Maybe tomorrow or wednesday, contact them and see if they want to do an earlier exchange on Friday or later on Sunday that if your area in a snow advisory or warning area you will not be driving.

[dipper]

Thank you Ocean and that is kind of what I was thinking, but wanted to check.   Is it okay to expect time back in return for taking child to exchange early? 


I am glad I had asked and gave this thought as the child's mother has already contacted us.  In fact....she texted me, texted my son, and then called him all within 3 minutes.   I have told her that we will wait until later in the week to see exactly the time things will move in, if it happens.   But, I did tell her what we were thinking so that we can all decide what is best.   She got rude when I asked that she please contact one of us from now on and wait for us to respond.   But, I am used to that....

[ocean]

I think so. Maybe you can say what about 1. You pick up child on Friday at xx time and return her a day early to us on xx Or 2. You can pick her up after the storm on sunday and return her a day later on xx day at xx time

[dipper]

I think we will definitely do that with the options.   I would *like* an agreement between us that this is how we will handle bad weather in the future as well.   I worry that if she has child and bad weather is impending we will be told - sorry.   But, will have to cross that bridge when we come to it. 

[tigger]

Bad weather around here is really hard to predict.  It didn't happen often but when it did, my ex made the call.  He was the one driving and while we didn't always get along, I'd rather my kids be safe than to risk driving on ice.  We don't have the equipment to handle snow or ice so secondary roads are bad for a while.  We both lived on secondary or subdivision roads.  Depending on what was happening, we would exchange early or late and no make up time was done as it beyond our control.  Then again, we got along reasonably well when it came to the kids.  Each other or his wife - not so much.

ETA - it helped that I was keenly aware that he would rather give up time and bring the kids back early than to risk having to feed them for an unexpected time period.  One of the reasons I was comfortable with him making the call.  I knew if he wasn't willing to risk driving them back it really was already too bad to drive.  Sad but true.  Feeding them was a deciding factor for him and his wife.

[MixedBag]

See...in this case....I think both sides are still trying to figure each other out.  I hear and read what dipper shares....BUT it's all too new.

Both sides are still "storming" (out of the forming, storming, norming, performing cycle)...

Mom is gonna want to hear the answer that means she has the "most time possible" with her daughter.  So dipper, you need  to figure out when to pick and choose your battles....and pick them wisely.  If mom regularly "looses time" with her daughter thanks to being hospitalized.....she isn't gonna want to give an INCH on other occasions.

How do I know that?

As an NCP, THAT's how I would feel. sometimes the answer comes by putting yourself in the other person's shoes....

[dipper]

Tigger - we meet halfway, so the driving is really on both of us.   The mother seems to want the child back so she can go sledding with her, she is very excited about this.  However, I feel we would be just as much in the right to keep child until driving conditions are safe.  That is why I am hoping we can work out make-up time and give her the child as she wants.   


Mixedbag - we already give the mother make-up time each month.   That was part of our agreement.   I understand what you are saying and I am hoping we can work out something where it can be our standard agreement, though they have tried to back out of every agreement made so far.  I expect no different this time, but just want it in writing.   I am thinking if they have child and a storm is coming...we will just lose time.   But, we can hope if we oblige this time, they will work with us next time. 

[dipper]

So, my son did offer to the child's mother on Wednesday that she could pick child up at 6:00 p.m. last night - as many forecasts showed snow moving in early this morning.  She said no, she did not have a ride and she wanted to do exchange at 10:00 this morning. He called her.


Yesterday, he did text that we would meet her this morning unless weather was bad and then it would have to be when roads were safe to travel. 


We do know for a fact that she had a vehicle as she said several times to him and me that she was supposed to pick up her mom from work this morning and would pick up child then.   In fact....she did not pick up child because she went out with a friend to the bowling alley last night.  This we have proof as the friend posted on FB.  Just keeping it all for later use......