More drama - drugs

[ocean]

I agree let THEM talk but do not give any info from your side. She admitted to son's drug use to them and they didn't know (or didnt know she knew or had positive test from hospital). They will be sure to use that the next go around in court. If she wants to let the courts know and try for custody let them find out when papers are served.

[MixedBag]

yep yep yep....Got that Dipper?

[dipper]

Thank you ladies!!  I did admit to the drug testing.  What son had told the bio mom was that we took him to the hospital and he had 'stuff' in his system that was not right.   I do agree that I probably let on too much in talking with them as the conversation went on for over 35 minutes.   I actually had to finally  say - well, this is going down the drain and I simply hope that we can all continue to do what's best for child.  I will see you Saturday morning.


I was concerned with trying to get Emergency custody since the bio mom still lives with her mother, who is on order as well.  She was also in the household all days son was there and claims she had no idea he was high, thought he was ill because he was so confused and sleepy.  So, she admits something was glaringly wrong and she did nothing.   But, son and the bm are just over the top pushing their love story now.   She even posted to him a few minutes ago that she loves him.  This after claiming he stole meds from her....I call this gold.   


But, here is what occurred to me this morning...as long as she lives with her mother, it can be trickier in court.   Son says she is begging him to get a place, saying she does not want to live with her mother...and since mother doesn't want him staying anymore and our oldest son says she cannot come over there...they will have to find a place.  That is probably the time to strike...because they will not have any support for child if they live on their own.   If they attempt to move in their own place, I feel certain we will seek emergency custody and full custody going forward.   


Also...this was a thought and my husband and son's mother think this is a good route to go.   Oldest son does not like the gf/bm because of how bad she was in past and now this newest situation.  However, other son lives with him.   We are going to meet with oldest son tomorrow afternoon to discuss allowing her to move in - with an agreement in place.  The agreement would require them cleaning the downstairs of the house (it's a disaster), fixing up the two bedrooms, and buying a refrigerator before moving in.  They would also have to buy a 12 drug testing kit to give to oldest son to keep....and sons' mother is willing to buy a lock box for the bm to lock away all her medication in.  She will be given a key and have to promise to keep the key away from son.   If he does get into the drugs, she is taking responsibility. This will also ensure child does not get into them.  Of course they will have to pay their part of rent and electricity as well.   If oldest son suspects at anytime son is high, he has to submit to a drug test (the kit they will buy in advance).  If he comes up positive, they will have 2 weeks to move out.   And......all of this will be more documentation.   We do not approve of them being together or any drug use, but we feel that if we cannot stop this toxic relationship...maybe we can put some stipulations to try to halt or slow down the addiction.  And of course, if they fail to clean up their act, then we can seek the emergency order.  It allows the biological parents the chance to straighten up but with supervision. 


I still feel really concerned about child being alone with them at any time..and husband and I will still expect to have child with us just as we do now.   If we don't go after them right now...will that look bad on us in the future?   I do not want it to appear that we are putting child at risk...she is our number one priority but we know we have to consider what the courts will actually do with the information we have.