Change of Custody

[syllywabbit1]

Can someone tell me the odds of changing my custody situation with my ex over my 5 yr old son. He is with me 4-5 days per week Fri-Sat-Sun & Mon, sometimes thurs nights, and his mother apparently has her own priorities in that she puts her love life ahead of what is in his best interest. Additionally, she subjects him to situations that adversely affects his health in that he suffers from many allergies and asthema, one of which is dogs and she constantly brings him to her boyfriends house (who has a dog) including sleepovers where he fights for every breath and comes back to me not only with respitory issues, but also covered in rash. When I take him to visit her, he screams that he does not want to go every week. I am in the home he has grown up in and he is destined to start school next Sept and I want to be the primary day-to-day parent involved with that. Not that I wan to exclude her, but I feel it would be in his best interest to have a parent involved that puts him first. I simply want to provide the primary care and housing and allow her visitation every other weekend.

Thoughts?

[gemini3]

You don't say what your current custody situation is, so it's hard to answer.  It sounds as though you're already the primary caregiver.  What's your current custody arrangement?

[syllywabbit1]

I have my son every Friday morning thru Monday till 5pm. Sometimes I have him Thursday nights as well.

[mistoffolees]

Your wanting to be the primary care parent is irrelevant. It's not your wishes that matter. In order to change custody, you need to show either that the other parent is unfit or that there has been a significant change in circumstances.

Focus on the health issues. When she brings the child back to you with trouble breathing and rashes, take him right away to an urgent care center or your physician for evaluation. Ask him/her to put his evaluation in writing. Then give her a copy of his report.

If the physician says that the child should not be in the same home as dogs and she continues to do so, then you have better grounds to either report to cps or to go to court. Unless you're a physician, your asking her not to expose the child to dogs is meaningless. It will take a valid medical opinion to carry any weight.

As for the sleepovers, what does your divorce decree say? It is common to say 'no overnight guests'. If so, you can point out to her that she's in violation. If the decree is silent on that matter, you can go back to court to ask to have it inserted, but I'm guessing (not a legal opinion) that you'd have a hard time getting it added later. It sounds like sour grapes.

BTW, when talking with the court, make sure you're counting days properly. By most court rules, Friday morning through Monday afternoon is 3 days, not 4 (it's the overnights that count).  So you have the child 3-4 days, not 4-5 days.