Opinion

[greatdad]

Final divorce trial now going into 2nd day. I have pendente sole custody ( have had for more than a year), stbx shows to court  5 months pregnant.
She amends her complaint orally from cruelty to no fault, seperated for 1 year ( my take is she knew there was never any cruelty and she knew she could not prove).
STBX presents her case first, all her witnesses are family members. I got permission to call 2 of my witnesses out of order as they are government employee's. My childs school teacher and the CPS investigator. Both testified glowingly for me, teacher said I am always at school lunches, conferences etc, that stbx has never been nor ever had contact with teacher. CPS testified charges were not only unfounded, but it was expert opinion that child had been "coached" by an adult.
STBX family admitted that they refuse to communicate with me because they don't like me, that even when children got hurt while visiting them, they did not tell me because tehy feel since I have custody, I should be able to figure it out. The grand parents ( stbx family) have had to be warned in the visitatuion order that they are not to get out of there car or approach my vehicle, that only STBX or 1 aunt is allowed to exchange children. STBX moved to another state, so kids have to travel 600 miles EOW right now.
I have not yet testified or put on any witnesses other than teacher and CPS.
Here is what I want opinion on:
The Judge at the end of day, said that while he has not heard all the evidence yet, this was a disturbing case. That he has been judge for 30 years and has seen irt all and heard it all. He said that he has seen a lot of emotion, problems with pick up and drop off of kids, etc.That the parents need to put all others out of it for the sake of the children and learn to communicate. He then said again, while I have not heard all of the evidence, I can tell you that 1 of the parties here is going to be very disaapointed if you can't settle this between  yourselves, maybe both will be unhappy, but I guaranty 1 will.

MY take was ( since I have not yet said 1 word,or testified yet) is that he was sending stbx a message. Am I right??????Or could it be me???

Trial resumes friday, my turn to testify.

[FLMom]

You're probably already headed to court this morning, so we can Monday-morning quarterback after the fact when Friday's session is done. BTW, I think you're going to be fine.

In my experience judges like to see the parents work together. Here's what happened with our case. In the middle of things the judge stopped and held up our court file. He said that he'd seen multi-phone books come across his bench, but ours looked to be pretty slim. He said that in itself was a good indication that we could work things out ourselves. He said, and I quote, "I think the two of you should put your heads together and work this out, because I guarantee the neither of you will like what I come up with." Sound familiar? I stuck to my guns a little more than the ex did, but we reached almost fifty-fifty, which was my goal and what the kiddos wanted.

So, I think that the judge wants to see, if not a complete agreement, a partial one so it will lessen the decision making on his part. It also tells him what each party is willing to give a little on so if he has to cut something from someone's list, he's pointed in a direction. If the ex doesn't budge at all, he'll see that as even more willingness to not co-parent, which makes his decision easier. He's just using this for guidance.

BTW, it sounds to me like you've got a pretty smart judge. I don't think the ex will be able to pull anything over on him. PLEASE let us know what happens today----I'll be checking in and out and I'm dying to hear what happened. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!

FLMom

[greatdad]

Last trial day  is next friday. There is zero chance of stbx giving up custody  fight and trying to work out a reasonable visitation, as she is intent on not having to pay child support, plus she is pregnant ( not by me !). I thought it was highly unusual for a judge , who admitted he had not yet heard all the evidence ( meaning me or my other witnesses other than the CPS  investigator and school teacher)to provide any insight into how he may be thinking......