New poster. Looking for opinions.

[teacher98]

I am new to this board, so I am not sure if this is the correct spot.  Here's the background and my question:

My fiance has an 8 year old son, never married, teenage parents, joint legal, sole physical custody to the mother. Eight years ago the visitation was EO Sunday supervised (nursing baby) and they could extend as fiance gained parenting skills.  The first 2 years, fiance went to ex's house 3 or more times a week then she met someone new, began fighting w/my fiance, and then cut off all communication except to ask him to sign off his rights, and later moved in with this man in 2002.  Two years went by where my fiance sent holiday cards, gifts and CS, but no longer called due to the constant fighting.  Her BF said he would not play "daddy" when her son kept asking about his own and that she should contact him.   In October '04, she called to say that their son was asking about him. She realized supervised visiting at her house was not easy on my fiance and agreed to work out visits on their own. Two daytime visits on the weekend quickly turned to weekend overnights and EOW.  Summer '05 he asked for one whole week, which she agreed.  January '06 he asked for spring break and every other week in summer.  She agreed however, the summer never truly worked out that way. (3 solid weeks and then a few 4 day in a rows) Currently, EOW+ extra sometimes, alternate holidays, spring break with dad, split extended holiday vacations and first 2 weeks and last 2 weeks of summer EOWeek in between. On even years, he gets about 30% overnights, odd years about 28%. He knows he has it very good.  He has documented nearly everything along the way. Does not ask for an abatement during 6 consecutive overnights and provides every single thing his son needs in our home except the meds that go back and forth. Son plays baseball in Dad's town and football in Mom's town.

This frequent amount of time has lead to other circumstances, and fiance may be taking ex to court within the next 6 months.  If he is unsuccessful with his attempt, will a judge end up giving my fiance the standard, which in our state, ranges from 20-26% without joint physical? Any experience and opinions would be helpful.  I have many other questions to ask, but thought I would start here.

[janM]

If he has Excel, he can download the Parenting Time Tracker and use it to keep track of his parenting time (I think it's still available on this site? If not, there is one he can purchase). Has he been doing that? A calendar will work too.

If he can show how much time he has had, he should push for status quo - that is, the way things have been - and that it should remain that way.

It is always good to have his time court ordered so that mom has to abide by it. If she chooses to give him more time, it's all good. If he had not been given more time by mom, he definitely should have gone back to court to change orders that were based on an infant's needs. He should not have gone 2 years without seeing his child. Thankfully that changed. Kukdos to the BF for encouraging her to let dad be a dad.