Custody Change

[beebeehcl]

My husband and I have been thinking about going to court to get primary custody of my husbands 11 year old son. He is currently living with his mother and we get him every other weekend and 2 weeks at a time in the summer.

We currently live in another city about 3 hours away, but due to my stepsons terrible grades so far this year we will be selling our house and moving back to town now that my husband can work from home. We try to be as involved as we can with my stepsons school and making sure that he is turning in his work. His grades right now are pretty terrible 3-F 1-D 1-C 1- B and 2-A. He does really good at tests and getting his participation work done in school but when it comes to homework during the week, its just not done. He has also missed school and showed up late with no excuse other then he got up late ( aka his mom didn't wake up and get him ready ).

She has also had Child protective services called on her by the elementary school for both my stepson and his younger brother ( not my husbands- from another guy ) for abuse and neglect. He has told us that she has driven drunk with him in the car and hit a car and drove off, again no proof but I believe him. He has also told us that she drinks and will hit him and throw his little siblings around for annoying her.

He is usually at his nanas house and not at his house. We pick him up from there and drop him off there. We haven't seen his mom in months now. Not sure why we are paying child support to her if her mom is the one taking care of him during the week. We know she smokes weed and goes out drinking a lot but I feel like thats he said she said and the judge won't care about that information unless we have solid proof.

She has been arrested for property damage on her ex boyfriends moms house ( Not sure if that will help our case )

Every time we pickup my stepson he usually needs a shower and clean clothes and his nails cut because they are all pretty terrible.

He has told us plenty of times that he wants to live with us but she guilt trips him and tells him he wont ever get to see his little brother or sister if he does. He is torn and I feel terrible but he is not happy in that house and is just staying for his siblings. We also have a daughter now and she only gets to see him every other weekend and it breaks my heart.

I should also note that we have a steady household with good income and no one coming in and out of our life. His mom has had 2 other child by 2 different men, and random men coming into the house and my stepson can hear them having sex. She also is always changing jobs and no steady income besides the child support checks she gets from her 3 children with all different dads.

idk what the point of this forum is but I guess I just want some help on if we should go to court or if this is not enough to get primary custody.

thanks!

[ocean]

Change of custody is very hard to do but if you are moving and possible, move into same school district as child. Then you can go back to court and ask for more time as you are now in same school district- maybe win the time grandma has him during week. Maybe split custody. Once you move, keep track of where he is on which days. Document. Also, do you have a relationship with other father? You can ease SS mind but saying that dad and you guys are friends and he will always get to see his siblings.
Does mom have any outstanding charges now?
Start being involved at school and when you move even more. Educational neglect can be called by the school to DCF for grades and absences. Keep documenting and when you go back for time in your petition you can list why the father wants more time especially during the school week. Also if you go back to court, have it written that mom will not move school districts without consent of father....