Long distance visitation

[Imom]

Should this or could this be changed, (this is  long distance custody issues) current custody agreement states for visitation they agree to any reasonable visitation with advance notice for both parties. This is also where c-mas vacation is listed dad has even years mom has odd.

Bm does not want to split x-mas, I already asked her about that.


We had the problem of her telling ss she can not visit because dad will not let her,etc other then the time listed in the co. When hubby talked to her she first was like she didn't know she could then she said she was told it was up to him etc.etc. Long story short.


She does live 9 hours away, co-----we have one week before school until one week after, she has anytime child is out longer then three days. co---covers, 9 1/2 weeks of summer, Thansgiving, e/o Christmas vacation, Spring break ,for her.  

Could the visitation part be reworded someother way? Could or should it it address other Holidays or special days in a way if the non-custodial parent  wishes he/she sould have first choice of their respected special day, or year, with 2 week notice.

Ex. Mother's & Father's day weekend are not addressed nor their b-day's nor is ss b-day.  We always have ss for mother's day and visversa, we never have ss on, around or near his b-day.  Their are other holiday's listed in the Indiana guidelines that are not in co, that would give her more time........................here is the big kicker the ncp at the time is responsable for all transportation and we will be keeping that the same due to distance, but could rearange the times that are listed in the guidelines so ss could be picked up sooner and droped off later,etc.

I have a really rough draft and my husband thinks is stupided, I told him I'm trying to get it to read in away that if the ncp at the time chooses to exercise a visitation on any of the special days, or holidays, and an agreement can not be made for a visit on their respected special day or year for the Holiday then the following shall apply:
Then I listed for mom with extened time
Then for dad,etc.

He thinks we should let it be I thought mabe if it were rewored maybe? What do you guys think.

[kiddosmom]

I actually would leave the CO as is. If Bio-dad is not denying bm extra time if she asks then thats great, you do not need the orders to reflect that.
With the b-day thing, you do not have ss on his b-day. Have a party for him when he returns to you, even if he was closer on that day normal co's say the other parent who doesn't have him at the time only gets 2 hours that day. So he will get to have 2 parties each year :) most kids love that.
As for the other holidays you are trying to give her, although nice and the high road, untill she stops the PAS thing - telling him daddy won't let her have him - then i would tell her to bite me.
Holidays can be celebrated whenever you want, noone can control that.

Good luck to you!

[Imom]

All ture, and after thinking about it that would be better to leave it. For due to distance , money and so no one can hold it aganinst anyone if they can't make the visitation if is more defind.She has never asked for extra time,etc.  Just this year took her Thanksgiving time. Hubby did tell her that thats what they agreed to in '98 for open visitation and neither can deny eachother or it would be contempt (although we know that it would be hard to get an contempt charge, but she does not know that we want her to think if we deny her we will get into trouble................and we never would deny her anyway) during their conversation that day.