I cant see my son

[Rogue46551]

   Hi I am also new to this forum, I am soooo glad its here.....heres my problem.....I pay court ordered child support but do not have court ordered visitation, we have a verbal agrreement that I get him on every other weekend but if she decides to be moody she doesnt let me see my son, for instance I called her to ask if i could get him some days during the week while I was on vacation she said the only way I could is if I paid the babysitter $70, I told her no that I allready pay her, she said no cant have him and that I couldent have him that weekend (which was supposed to be mine) either. I have tried to call her numerous times to see him or to just talk to him she never calls back. I have only seen him 3 times in about 4 months.  

   Part two of my problem is that I dont have the money for a lawyer is there any thing I can do my self?  
 
    I appriciate any addvice thank you for your time.

[tjraid18]

  Hey Rogue. I was just checking up to see if anyone had replied to my post and read yours. I am not an expert-- I'm just a dad who was where you are at about 3-4 years ago. Sounds like you werent married because if you were its court mandated to set up visitation/mediation as part of the divorce process. At least in my state anyway. I'm new to this website stuff too but am happy to offer any advice I can that might help because I know how bad it sucks. You should be able to set up court ordered visitation through your local county courthouse. If you are paying childsupport and cant afford the filing fees ask if the fees can be waived if you qualify.(I dont recommend you write down every dime you make cause they"ll take 95% of it and may disqualify you from being able to waive the filing fee. Just minimize your income where possible. Anyway, thats where you need to start. Dealing with and relying on the ex could be like playing russian roullette--- sort of hit and miss to say the least. your only legal backing for visitation will come through the court & be careful dealing with the "mom", she might try to set you up. Its a long and frustrating process & you will have to jump through some hoops (just to be able to do what you should already be entitled to do, which is be a dad) but it will be worth it when your done and your at the park with your son. My only other advice is to find a family or child advocate lawyer and have a "consultation visit" & ask a few key questions. Try to find the right questions to ask that will help you most direcly in your particular situation. Maybe theres some place on this website that could help with that. Also remember to be wary with the "ex".I wasnt and my kids have missed well over half thier childhood because I trusted my "ex". I can only pray they turn out happy and healthy. Hope you do well with your situation and are able to see your son without too much hassle.

[wendl]

welcome
1st you need to document document document everyting.
read Tips for getting started
file a motion for visitation/parenting plan thru the courts
show the courts the attempts to see and contact your child

Others hopefully will post you some links to help you in the process of during this pro-se (without an atty)

Good luck

[Peanutsdad]

I'm sorry to hear this,, but it IS a typical story. You have the right to pay, but have to fight for the right to see. Unfortunately for you and many others, there are no resources for attrnys. If you are serious about going forward, your only option may be to file pro se. Please list the state you are in so others here in your state can come forward to possibly help you.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm



One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[Sherry1]

you can just file a parenting plan to go with the court order.  Most states have forms available on line and instructions on how to have her served.

[leskash]

My opinion on this matter...Just my opinion and I am not a lawyer.

Is your CS order an administrative order or court order?  i.e. did SHS (or your equiv.) set it up or did it go through court.  LIke the previous poster, i assume that this is a paternity action v. a dissolution.

if your order is administrative, you will have to establish a new partenity action in the court.  This is the ONLY way  you will get a parenting plan and it is a MUST in my opinion to have a parenting plan.  Too many people (mostly guys) get screwed when they think that they are getting along with the mom and then she gets an attitude and you are screwed.  Get a court plan that you can enforce.

Prior history, i.e. every other weekend etc., will be helpful in determining the initial residential schedule with the child.  

HMMM....that is all I can think of right now.  What State are you in?

[gipsy]

this site has resources , Statrt looking , Post your state and keep posting , I have been throught the whole mess , I the mom was TERRIBLE !!! ,  I have some good news , She accused me of everything from A to Z to pedophilia, And I see My son , So heres the deal period , The basic process , Wash state has a basic process , And all you have to do is find what that is , Most of it is FILE A PARENTING PLAN  She will have to show up and disagree at court , Then if she does You ask for a parenting investigater , Or Guardian Ad litem .  then the GAL reports to the judge , And You tyell the judge you want a parenting plan , You have been seeing your son and that should come out so , Here are some Ideas , Go to child support , Ask them If they have a list of low cost legal assistance programs , They do here , Then Call all of them , and have a pen and paPER in hand , then try commissioner services , I filed for divorce pro se , I have doen a few things pro se , Just go try , I ADVISE  , By my expierience , Just say you want regular visits with you son and you are having trouble with Mom and you want the papers neccessary , Be real  NICE , here they will quickly tell you , Because it is there daily job , Go get this or that right over there or go to the law library and get this or that m, write it down , Go get it , ask when to make copies , Send one to the court  , Have her served and keep one copy , I Did not do My visits pro se , But guess where I got the farthest , When My atty said in court , What do You want ? In short version , I said . I want to see My son and don't want anything to do with the BS , He told the commissioner what I said . Her atty said Blah Blah Bad guy , Mom doesnt want visits . [This si after the GAL report ) Then The commisioner ignored her atty because the commissioner read the GAL report that said , Dad gets visits and has A bed and toys forthe child , And a house the child can go to , Commissioner said " Ok Stamp BY BY , I got My visits court ordered , Its not that hard , I really feel that You just go ask for it , If the mother talks crap appoint a GAL , The GAL will talk to You and three witnesses and see if You are some sort of pervert , If you check oout You get court ordered visits , You can do it your self , Just Keep the BS to the minimum , Unless there is something you can PROVE to the GAL Or show some kind of evidence , You just want witnesses to say you are a loving parent , Trust me I went thriought the whole big jOKE  , But remmember its just the process , Next try asking at the court if there is a time when atty;s help people file papers , Go there file a parenting plan , set a date and show up , Again this is standard stuff , there is supposed to be a parenting plan , Thjats it , they will give it to you , next look up northwest justice project on the net , Its for wash state , but hopefully you could find such a self help resource in you state , Its just an example , Just file the papers and go ask !!!, Next call every atty in ther book and ask for pro se help , some will give you the papers and fill them out for 75$ , Start asking !!!

[tulips372]

Since you pay court ordered child support, you already have an open case file. You can look up your local family court, download the necessary forms, fill them out yourself, have them notarized, and go to court without an attorney. Let me know what state your in and I can help if you need.

My husband has court ordered visitation and pays child support for his kids in another state. GET THIS- she left this state, so he has to pay her child support and he is responsible for picking up the kids and returning them home- at his expense- thats four roundtrip tickets each visit. As a father paying child support- i am sure you know thats unreasonable. She makes twice what he does, gets his support, yet refuses to help pay for travel. She also just refused to let the kids come for their court ordered spring break visit after we already payed for the tickets- $870.

We are doing everything ourselves as far as the paperwork goes, and its not that hard. We are filing a contempt against her and filing to have the visitiation modified, which was never made by a judge, just a mediator. MEDIATION does not help because altaleast this b---- does not agree to anything that does not suit her. try to see a judge, thats what we need to do. My husband has to go from Florida to Connecticut to go to court and he has never went with an attorney. Its not thats bad.

You won't be the only man who shows up in court without a lawyer. Family courts are open to you representing yourself.

Make sure you start keeping records. EVERYTHING. Try to get her to put things in writing. Put everything you do in writing and save it for court. Phone records included. You are entitled to visitation so go get it!