DENIAL OF VISITATION

[tulips372]

My husband was recently denied his Spring break visitation with his kids who are in another state. She agreed to dates being it was one day longer than the ten court ordered days, and after we purchased the airline tickets, she said she never agreed and the kids would not be at the ariport. My opinion-she has to let them come, and if he keeps them longer than ordered then hes at fault. Sending them home a day earlier would have cost us $300 more. Not that she cares, since she doesnt pay for a cent of travel. We spent $870 on four nonrefundable tickets. He has two kids- and has to accompany them to and from.

Now she is refusing ALL mail from my husband, even certified. Except mail to the kids. We are trying to arrange dates for summer time, which he asked her for certain dates and she refused and gave us dates more convenient for her. He WILL NOT take dates over the phone again. WE ARE DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING AND SAVING MAIL RECEPITS, RETURNED ENVELOPES, PHONE RECORDS. My husband has learned the hard way.

We are already in process of getting the court orders domesticated becasue she moved to another state again, so after that we are filing the violation and for a modification. We are doing it all ourselves, no lawyer. We cant afford.

Does anyone know exactly what they would do to her if we filed a violation of court order against her?

Also, can we tape her conversations with him, and will they be admissible in court? What type of device can we use to tape the calls? She says she is taping the calls, but we dont beleive her.

[maxwell]

I would assume if you have a court order giving you visitation and she denies it, you can file for Contempt.  I have heard (and seen in SC) that Judges usually just threaten fines and jail to the person held in Contempt, and rarely take any action on the first offense. However, it appears to be the only route.

As far as the mail - be careful. After advice here I also sent BM several USPS certified letters to her home and work and Aunt's to ensure she got them. All I asked in them was to see my son on a specific date and I wanted the exchange at the local Police where I had already contacted them about it.  All letters were refused and she then filed a harrassment suit against me (and also lied and said she saw my car outside her home several times, and said I hand delivered one letter when the USPS stamps were on it!). She later dropped the charges on advice of her (then) attorney as they knew the charges were bogus and the family court Judge would be upset on her tactics (why the Sheriff proceeded with the arrest if beyond me) and I could sue her. But it costs me legal fees to have the arrest expunged from my record.

Also, as far as phone taping - check: http://www.rcfp.org/taping/
If you and her live in a 1-party state, then you can tape them.  Go to Radio Shack and get a small microcassette recorder and the adapter to plug into the ear plug for a portable phone (if yours has a plug). You can then also use it for a cell phone (you also need a headset).  I then also back up all tapes on to cassette and store them at another location. (It appears that FL is a 2-party state - meaning that if you are there and she tapes you, she may be violating FL law but I would double check.)

Good luck!

[tulips372]

As far as the mail thing- well she started refusing a months or so ago- but she has refused certified mail which are court documants so that we can have the order domesticated where she is living now. And the other envelope she returned unopened about Spring Break visitation. We just sent a letter with summer dates and info in it Priority with Delivery Conformation, so atleast we have proof that he is communicating to her about visitation. I dont trust the phone thing too much, because what if they dont except it as proof and we dont send mail to her- then we are screwed. Nothing in the letters are threatning or to cause annyoance- just facts relating to their visits. He has joint custody of the kids even though they are in another state- so he has every right to send her a letter about the kids- i think she is neglectful in not reading them. She knows very well what she is doing- she returns the letters and then lies about what what said on the phone. I as hiw wife have stooped communicating with her via mail so it is not taken as harrasment, but as their father, just as you are, he has every right.

Did they actually arrest you? My husband is a police officer here in Florida. She has even threatened his job in a previous letter (which we were sure to save). Her last letter to us, i cant even tell you all the names she called us and insults. She would be an idiot to sue us for something she has partaken in. WHAT PROOF DID THEY HAVE ON YOU TO ACTAULLY FILE SUCH A SUIT? I can see her lie about your car outside her house being seen as a threat if thats what the suit was based on. Lucky for us, his ex lives in another state. or i would probably be in jail myself!

[smtotwo]

In WI they issue a TRO without notifying the other party until after. DH's ex did this, saying I was a threat to the children and would take them from school.   I was arrested for a violation-she said I was at her house-but I never was.  Still I was arressted and spent the night in jail while DH got records from my work to show I couldn't have been there.

The police in our town know whats going on and really felt bad about taking me in.  But the judge in her county only had her word to go on.

Also there were no consequences for her at all.  NONE!! Not even a reprimand from the court.   NICE SYSTEM!!

[maxwell]

On the first temporary hearing (moments after it was postponed because BM said her lawyer could not attend which was a farce to just see all the evidence I was presenting) the court officer came over to us before we left the courtroom and said there was a warrant out for my arrest. I had just moved from across the country to nearby to be a father to my infant son.  (BM then refused my visitation - the same game she played with the fathers of her other 2 sons.) I walked over to see the Sheriff whom I had introduced myself to earlier that month as I suspected trouble with BM after my own investigation of her revealed startling things I had not known about her. Anyway, they arrested me on criminal harrasssment. She said i sent several letters to her and hand-delivered some. All the letters (requesting to see my son) were returned to me and had USPS stamps proving they delivered them. She also made up lies about seeing my car near her Aunt's house, etc.  It outragous that the Sheriff's office (little county in SC) would even issue the warrant based on this. Anyway, her lawyer pressed her to drop it (she told both lawyers she did, but she really didn't and a day before the appointed hearing time, my attorney found out she never called the Sheriff to drop the charges, so my lawyer called her attorney who then called her and she then called the Sheriff and dropped it). It tooks lots of $$ to get the charge expunged from my record.  This proves how clever she is/was.
Funny how this same Sheriff's office has not yet arrested her for stealing my credit card (credit card theft and identity theft).
My point was - it seems anyone can lie about anything and depending on the local law enforcement -- it can be a hassle for you later.

Alas, things are turning out well for me and my son. At the later temp hearing i got joint custody (last June) -- alternating weeks, and this past March i got sole custody at our 2nd temp hearing after some suspicious activity of the BM, her refusal to pay or meet with the GAL, her own lawyer quit for nonpayment and becaues she ignored his advice, and her numerous violations of the court order. We await a trial date unless she smartens up and tries to settle beforehand.

[maxwell]

>In WI they issue a TRO without notifying the other party
>...
>Also there were no consequences for her at all.  NONE!! Not
>even a reprimand from the court.   NICE SYSTEM!!

  I would think you could sue her in civil court for false accusations, etc. At least thats what we threatened in my case (there may be a criminal charge also).
  maybe this varies by state though.