Email to attorney....as things aren't going well.

[cbs]

This is an email I will HOPEFULLY (waiting for DH's approval) be sending out today. Please give me feedback if you know the NJ Family Court system, especially Gloucester County. WE are getting NOWHERE....I am getting so despressed.

Attorney,

As you know from past experience, an email from us means things are not going well. We are asking you to send a letter out ASAP addressing the issues we discussed previously as well as some new issues (not new just constantly repeating). If due to our concern over BM NEVER following the court order and abusing her parental rights, as well as taking all of DH's away, causes BM to demand more money (currently $350 a month) we can address that when that issue arises. We hope that, regarding child support, you do help us in determining a fair amount, before it is discussed with the other party, as we feel that for BM to get more money, she needs to at least follow the court order, and if she doesn't there needs to be "punishment" for her each and every time she denies DH his time, refuses to share transportation and withholds SD from contacting her father in a civil and timely manner (without being monitored or recorded).

As you know on Easter SD "choose" not to spend it with us (it was our weekend) and BM said should could not force her. That following weekend (4/16, 17, 18) SD did not come up again because she had a friends birthday party and BM "can not force her to do anything she doesn't want to do". Of course these situations have happened in the past many, many times.

This weekend is our/DH's weekend to get SD. He spoke with her last night to talk about our plans for this weekend. SD said that she won't be coming up because she has another friends b-day party on Sat. night from 4-7 and then they can stay (if they choose) to watch movies until 9:30, of course SD does not want to miss that. DH FINALLY was able to get BM on the phone (BM always puts SD in the middle, rather than have 2 adults handle these situations). DH recommenced that SD attend the party and then BM can meet him at the ½ way point at 7:30pm. BM refused saying that she will not drive that late at night. He then asked if they could switch weekends, as SD is supposed to come up next Sunday for Father's Day. BM refused as they have a party they are all attending next Saturday night. She then asked DH to have her from Sunday (Father's Day) until the following day, Monday. Which is impossible because DH can not take off work, he has to pay child support. His vacation times are already allotted for us to spend as a family (hopefully we can). Also, BM would then expect DH to do the FULL transportation, because Rob would not be available to drive either days.

BM is refusing to give DH there vacation locations, except that they are traveling to North Carolina from 6/27-7/4/04, which of course 6/27/04 is on our weekend. We found this ironic, because we were denied SD to go with us to South Carolina last year, because "SD could never survive in a car that long".

Michael, we know that this whole situation will never be perfect, but we do expect some type attempt from all sides to help DH and SD have their relationship without the sick drama of BM's jealousy determining every moment they can spend together. WHAT is the court order for??? If it is only for BM to control us until SD is 18....let us know. That court order MUST provide some enforcement on DH's part.
Bottom line, SD is 9 years old, and BM "can't make her do anything that she doesn't want her to do" and "allows her to make her own decisions"......she's 9, does BM have any control over this child? We know as SD gets older, she will start to have more of a social life of her own, but as it stands now this child (with BM's influence) is able to tell us, we as a family are not important to her. It states in the court order that BM must foster a healthy relationship between SD and DH, she is not doing that, she is not doing anything that the court order, orders her to do. BM never communicates with DH, she will have SD do it (unhealthy) or have her husband to it.

Please help us.

Thank you for all your help,

CBS

[joni]

Just file a motion for contempt.  Our first attorney did a crap job of dealing with the confrontation.  You need to get this denied visitations in front of the judge.  Talking between atty's won't get the BM to straighten up and fly right.  She's going to keep walking all over you unless there's contempt involved.  And worse....she's teaching the SD how not to respect her father.