Help...please.....

[flashovertx]

I hope that someone can point me in the right direction. I have been divorced for 2.5 years. I am the NON-custodial parent of 2 kids ages 10 and 7. I have 2 major ongoing problems:

1) My ex wife insists on calling me every now and then and berate me over the phone. I honestly feel that I am being setup at that moment. She calls out of the blue and starts ranting and raving, overreacting to anything I say. It is almost like she is trying to put on a show for her new husband, or in front of my kids. The more I try to explain, the more she overreacts. I can tell that this is a tactic she uses to exert control or something. I just dont know how to handle it. It has become a situation that I am uneasy communicating with her over the phone becuase she will take anything that I say or comment and embellish it in front of others that are not privy to both sides of the conversation, making it into something more or something i havent said. .

2) I work as a firefighter here in TX. I work a different schedule , a 24 on and 48 off. I have worked the visitation schedule for the last 2 years on the customary schedule(1,3,5th weekends, and wednesdays) I have had a family member take care of my kids, if one of my visitation days has fallen on a shift day. This family member can no longer do this. I have gone to my ex and asked if there was a different schedule we could work out due to my job schedule. She refused and told me I needed to change jobs. I refuse to have to pay a sitter to watch my kids when I am at work, esp. when I pay child support of $600 month, and also it is not fair to the kids since I am having to work and not be able to spend that time with them. PLEASE...any suggestions ????

[patton]

I'm in Texas too.  

1.  I would send my ex a CERTIFIED return receipt letter, basically explaining why you are uncomfortable with her calls OR you can start recording all her calls.  Texas is a one party taping state, so it's perfectly legal OR you can do both. How do you plan to correspond with the ex?  Email, postal service?

2.  Have you talked with other firefighter's who might have this problem and what they have done about it?  I can ask around and see if any have this problem and what they do about it around in my area.  I know a couple of firefighters here.

3. Your other option would be to have your order modified, due to the relative not being able to watch children anymore and if you have a permanent schedule for a year at a time, see if a Judge would modify the order to work around that.  I'm assuming you had this job when you split up and did not foresee this problem arising?

What county are you in?  Do you already have a good family law attorney?