need help

[oopie7568]

hello, Three years ago my wife and I separated and she moved our two children to Philadelphia PA, i reside in lewes Delaware which is approx two hours south of their home. Up until now visitation has not been a major issue, but this past week, which would be the week of June 28th thru July 4th 2004, i had my two children with me, the arrangement was that throughout the summer i would get them for two weeks and they would return to her for two, until my daughter, who is 7, had to return to school in September. on Thursday of that week my daughter and i were swimming in the pool and i noticed that her face was becoming burnt despite the fact that i was putting sun block on once an hour. I removed her from the sun and over the next two days kept her in the shade. i then noticed on Saturday that her face was starting to peel and i did not like the looks of it. My neighbor, who is a certified emt, looked at her and told me that she was ok, i was not able to take her to a doctor due to the fact that my ex refuses to give me any of the kids insurance information. My kids then left my care and went to stay the night with my ex's parents, whom i am still close to. During the next day they allowed my daughter to play outside despite the sunburn on her face. noticing that her face was beginning to peel worse, they called my ex to let her know. Upon hearing of this, my ex left PA and came and picked up the children. over the next two days my phone calls went un-answered, today which is Tuesday july 6th, my ex finally returned my call. She states that she took my daughter to the doctor and he instantly said that my daughter had been abused and she gave him my name and number, she then told gave me his prognosis that she had been allowed to be out in the sun too long she has severe burns on her face and back, and may be scared for the rest of her life. I assure you that when she left my care this was not the case and i have an emt's testimony to that fact. I believe that this is all a ploy to hurt me, she would not allow me to speak with my daughter and would not give the the name or number of the doctor that supposedly cared for her and filed these charges against me. I have since been to the police and they could find no record of the alleged charges. My ex tells me that i can no longer see or speak with my children. I have been to the courts in delaware today and was told that i must contact PA's courts. I do not have much money and could not afford an attorney outright. I love both my children very much and want them to be a part of mine and my fiancé's lives. Please tell me what i can do to assure this will happen.
-Thank you
John L. Simpson
[email protected]
(302)344-4603
PO Box 61
Lewis DE, 19958

[nosonew]

John, if you have a court document stating when you are to have visitation, and hopefully it doesn't say "liberal visitation with agreement of both parties", she is in contempt.  

You should look up your state statutes and file pro-se, and on this board there is Soc board, and he is the attorney.  Do your homework, then ask Soc if what you are doing is correct.  Be sure to follow his guidelines.  Good luck!

Oh, and so you don't feel so alone about this...my ss's mother took him to the ER everytime he came to her house with mosquito bites!  She told us it was to "prove" we were bad people.  It actually just showed the people that counted how nutso she is!

[oopie7568]

unfortunately the only aggreement i have with her is child support, i am currently doing everything i can to get all the info i need to file for custody in pennsylvania, unfortunately i can't seem to find a lawyer i can afford at this time.

also i spoke with my ex again today and her statement was i will not see my children again until she sees a court order. can i just go to her house and demand to see my children? wouldn't it be considered some form of kidnapping not to allow this?

[Kitty C.]

If you WERE married, but there is no custody agreement in force, then you BOTH have joint, thus her keeping them from you is not considered kidnapping.

BUT, if you would happen to get them, the SAME applies..........know what I mean??  Also remember that because of the UCCJA, the state that has jurisdiction in regards to custody is the one where the children have been residents for a minimum of 6 months..........

[hagatha]

John,

Exactly what part of the city is she? I live here and know the way the wind blows as far as family court. Some Judges are good ol boys and some are really fair.

First as far as the court here is concerned, she has custody as you are paying support.  So taking them is out of the question.

I would continue to contact her, by phone and certified letter to request time with the children. No doubt she will continue to refuse. For the most part this will bite her in the ass. I'm sure this isn't the 1st time your D has gotten sunburned. I suspect though, the sunburn got worse at the grandparents home and she doesn't want you to see just how bad it looks.

You don't need an attorney to file a petition for custody/visitation. Just be at 34 S 11th st at 8am. The office officially opens at 8:30 but by 9am they are up to their ears in paperwork. The filing cost, I beleive is between $35 - $50, so bring your checkbook. Also be prepaired to hang out all day. Once you file you will be given a hearing date, I would guess sometime in December. Ask for the earliest date possible.

Once the petition is filed she will receive her notice to appear within a week. Expect her to explode and accusation to flood in.  

I would suggest you sit down ASAP and begin documenting everything that you can remember since your divorce. Go buy yourself a couple of marbled notebooks and a bunch of pens. Go find a calander and start writing down how often you have had parenting time with your kids.
Be as accurate as possible. Also be sure to document all conversations you have with your ex. (I would purchase a recorder from Radio Shack and record all calls just for documentation purposes)

This is a very slow, frustrating process. Don't let it consume your life. Stand your ground, but be polite. Let her be the bad guy. EXPECT her to involve your kids. Read everything on this site including articles on Parential Alienation Syndrome. She is declaring war and you Must be ready.

This is the Best place to prepare for battle.

The Witch



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