I need help :(

[punkinhead]

I am still married but have been separated for 8months...I have an injunction against my husband and temporary custody of our 2year old son...He has not seen his son since March and before that it was October of last year...I took him to court for child support and he was ordered to pay, that was a month ago and I still have not received any payments...now he thinks he can just pop up any time he wants to and see his son...I have never denied him rights even though he doesnt help but now I am trying to get on with my life and I dont feel like my son would be taken care of if I let him go with him...can I have the courts award me supervised visits? I dont know where dad lives and I know he does not have a job or a stable environment to take my son too....I'm scared!!!!!:(

[tulip]

You can ask the court for supervised visits, but would probably have to show good cause for that. Why don't you think your son would be taken care of if he visited his dad? I can understand you wanting to get on with your life, but you must understand that when you marry someone and have a child with him, that man is always going to be a part of your life. A counselor told me a few months ago, "Divorce doesn't end a relationship, it just changes it."

As for the child support, in can take a few months to process everything. Did they order income withholding?

[Peanutsdad]

Without knowing the specifics of the case, its impossible to tell if supervised visitation is appropriate in your case.

He would have to be a danger to the child in order for that to be applied. ie; violent towards the child( documents from police reports, cps, or hospitals to show it happened), be involved in drug trafficking or illegal drug usage( once again, you must be able to proof it).

I hope this answers your question.

[punkinhead]

Dad needs supervised visits because he doesnt have a place to take him that is a safe evironment...he bounces from here to there...he doesnt have a job...and he is a substance abuser...I dont mind him seeing his son...But where has he been for the last seven months...Now he wants to just pop in and our 2year old has no idea who he is...do you understand where i am coming from now?

I call CS enforsement and they said he has not made a payment yet..

[punkinhead]

he is a substance user and went to rehab...i really dont know if i can prove that...i know for a fact he does not have a stable residence to take him too...and he doesnt want to visit at my house...his parents do not want him there so thats out too...i was wandering if there was a way to get the supervised visits without having to take him back to court...because im working ot as it is to make ends meet it is very diffucult to take off work and go back to court...

[Bolivar OH]

As PeanutsDad says "You should have left the sleeping dog lay".

However, the dog was awaken by the child support issues.

Your STBX sounds like a perfect candidate for a buy out. If he is as bad as you claim, then it should be easy . Say "if you stay away from me and the child we will file for a modification of support and inform the court officer in the hearing that you have come to an "independent" agreement on support to deviate from the typical guidelines".

Courts won't touch that (usually). Judge might say "are you sure?"

He comes back around file for a CS adjustment.

No matter what you do you will be back in court.  At the current time he is going to be fighting.

Yes I am a NCP who pays huge amounts in Spousal Support, CS and became an instant visitor in our childs' life. I will continue my struggle to have more time with our child. I will never give up being a positive, nurturing father with our child.

Remember, you could not buy out a good father for any amount of money.

[punkinhead]

thank you for the advice...but ive tried to get him to just go away...and he used to threaten all the time that he wanted to sign over his rights but then when it comes down to it he just whines about how much he loves and misses his son...yeah right!...he has seen him once in 8months and i made all the effort for that...even when we went to court for CS hearing he told me then how much he loved him and would call to set something up but i dont here from him for 3months and even then its not him its his mother...she does all the dirty work for him but neither one of them are clean or in a safe evironment for son...i talked to the nuturing families center afew min. ago and she told me to go back down to where i filed the injuction and ask for a modification for supervised visits since there already is a protective order there for my saftey and also record of neglect for him...and yes you are right i will still have to go to court...oh well...maybe oneday this will get easier...and many props for sticking it out in your bad situation...i would love for my sons dad to grow up and step up...

[joni]

perhaps you can allow him to have supervised visitations at a court sponsored social workers environment.  usually these places are availalbe through the county and you pay per hour, $25-50/hr, for a social worker to watch him with your child.  

[wendl]

I know how frustrating this can be, my ex has jumped in and out of his sons life for 12yrs now, with peiods of 2yrs with no contact.  About 4yrs ago my ex wanted to start a relationship with his son, so we went back to court and the court granted supervised visitation (by his parents whom I trust) I felt that since my son went and saw his parents all the time, our child would feel more comfortable, the reason for supervised visitation was 1) drinking 2) so father and son would re-unite and start a relationship. Well that only last about 2 months, and now he dad make the choice not to se our son.

However, it is extremely important for a  child to know both parents (no matter how we may feel about the parenting skills of the other parent)

I would suggest that both you and dad take some parenting classes, this will help dad understand how to interact with a young child and what the baisc needs would be, it would be a good refresher for you, in my state during any visitation and or custody case each parent must take this class.

As for CS keep in mind that if your ex's pay is being garnished this is usually how it work, 1) cs office mails info to his employer, they usually have 20 days to respond, should the employer not respond they send out another letter.  Sometimes, with cs and or employers payroll this may take at least a month before you will see payment.  If dad isnt working or cs office doesn't know where dad is working they may be trying to locate him employer.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**