First refusal question

[rm1759]

I have a question on the right of first refusal.  I am the NCP, my daughter is 7.  In my CO, the right of first refusal applies to both parents anytime they must be away from her for more than 3 hours.  

My daughter wants to stay the night with a friend of hers near my house.  I want to encourage her to make friends close to me, and while I would rather spend the time with her, once in a while I want to let her have fun with her friends.  My worry is that PBFH will say this falls under her right of first refusal, and say that if my daughter does this, she will come to get her.  Is this how this typically works?  My daughter has also expressed interest in staying with my parents for a night (I could go with her in this case, but my parents do not have much room for everyone to sleep)

[Kitty C.]

The key words here are 'anytime they MUST be away from her for more than 3 hours.'  In instances where she wants to stay with a friend or visit overnight with her grandparents, it's NOT because you MUST be away from her.  It's not like you have no choice in the matter BUT to send her to those places, because you WILL be home during that time where she'd be anyway, right?

Yes, it's a very distinct possibility that PBFH will get pissy about it, but if she does come get the child, I'd be filing contempt.  If she pitches a fit about her being with the grandparents, tell her to take you to court, then get it thrown out for being frivilous and demand that she pay ALL costs, including yours, for wasting everyone's time.

[nosonew]

I completely agree with Kitty.  That would be like stating when she goes on her first 3+ hour date that you have "refused" to care for her.  You aren't refusing anything.  YOU are the contact parent if she has any issues while away from the home.  YOu aren't PAYING this girls parents for her to stay the night.  I personally would not mention it to bm, if child says something, then fine.  If she chooses to take you to court, let her.  She will look like a complete idiot.