Denial of Visitation

[hoss6595]

             
I am new to this forum and would greatly appreciate any suggestions. I have been seperated from spouse since 1-04. My 9 year old son has basically split his time with myself and his mother, I have him 6 day & nites every 14 days. I have been paying his mother (my wife) 450.00 support since 01-04. There is no support order. I changed employment in October and missed a couple of "support payments". Begining early Nov my son begain telling me that unless I paid mom her money he would not have christmas. Then beginning late Nov I have gone to pick him up on my schduled time. He is either not there or she tells me until I pay she will not permit me to take my son with me. He is deeply troubled by what his mother is telling him. I do not want to cause my son any traumatic experience so I do not remove him. I realize that I need to retain an attorney. I do not have the retainer. All attorneys I have spoke with want a large sum upfront. Finally, my question: I have a great relationship with my son and his mother is alienating us and I have not seen him for over 3 weeks. She also will not permit me to see him christm without a knockdown fight. What can I do quickly and possibly without attorney. Thanks for any help.

[ocean]

Hello,
Do you have any custody or vistation papers? If you doi, then send the "intent to visit" sheet on this website to your ex (certified mail) stating when you will be taking the vistation and say you will file contempt if child is not there. You may be able to talk to the school social worker and see if she can arrange a meeting at school for you to see him before christmas this week. (schools do not like to get involved but you may get a good social worker/pschologist that will allow this, especially IF there are NOT custody papers. If you get a lawyer even to make a phone call for you or send off a letter to her, maybe you could get somewhere with the ex? Is she short on money for Christmas and depending on that money? Maybe, you can send her an e-mail asking her what she needs and seeing if you can compromise until a court date? Hope this helps!

[wendl]

well without current orders in place not much you can do.

I would send her notice of intent to visitation letter certified mail. It is so close to xmas you may loose out this year.

Also when making support payment to her make sure  NOT to give her cash as this will be looked upon as a gift. On all checks write CHILD SUPPORT.

You can go to your local county webiste (well usually) download all the docs you will needs to set up visitation and child support and file it with the courts.

You can get this started on your own, or get the paperwork in order then go see an attorney will all the motions ready to go, this will save time and money in  the long run.

Also child support and visitaiton are two seperate issues, a parent legally isn't allowed to withhold viistation from a parent for not paying support (even though many do)

AND document document document.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[hoss6595]

Thanks for the response. I am in the process of getting paperwork in order. I am trying to do this in manner that minimizes the exposure of my son to his mother issues. I'm buying my time to do it right and in the long run she is only hurting herself. Thanks again