Denial of Visitations

[Bo311]

i started to use the letters here on the site to excerise my visitation rights. She got the first one asking for this christmas. instead of responding my mail like i asked. She called me to tell me she had a cert. letter she was NOT going to go pick up. i told her she had to reply by mail. I polietly got off the phone. after calling a few days later, already KNOWING she was NOT going to let me pick up my son. i asked if i can go over there to san diego and see him for christmas. so i did. well AFTER i got back...she said she got my letter for the visitation.

can i still use the denial of visititaion form for this?  I mean she DID deny me, i had to GO THERE.  is anyone familiar with these kind of letters???

[MixedBag]

It all starts with "What's in the order?"  Do you even have one and what does it say?

I'm not sure that I picked up on the fact that you even have one right now.

Attorney -- hire one in the area of jurisdiction for the case/situation.  That seems to be San Diego.

Christmas?  That depends on the order and the judge.

Most of the advice would depend on the contents of the order.

I'll share this story, for Thanksgiving 1998, DH flew from AL to NV and drove out into the boonies to see his kids for Thanksgiving.  It was HIS year.  His EX decided to "hide" the kids from him when he got into town.  Then after some  -- well you know -- she finally brought them to a hotel where they were allowed to swim in the pool behind a locked door and dad wasn't allowed "access" to the pool area.  Then if I remember right, he was allowed to take 2 out of 3 to dinner on Friday night.  

He filed for contempt and won.  His order said he was to have them for Thanksgiving in even years.  EX said "This means ONE day" -- but he didn't even get that.  When the order was written, EX was in NV, court in OH, and Dad in AL.  There was no way the judge meant that "In even years, the Dad shall have Thanksgiving Day.  In odd years, the Dad shall have Christmas Day" to mean ONE day.

Although things for DH got much worse before they got better in DH's case, it was up to the judge to determine if Dad got Thankgiving since he flew to their location, when they were supposed to come to his home.

So I say again because you didn't answer it -- or I didn't see it (yep, could be) below -- WHAT does your order say?

Without one, you're stuck and that becomes your first step.  

After that, it's up to the judge.

As for the letter thing.....certified mail and notifications like that really only work if you give the post office a chance to notify her two or three times to pick it up and then it gets returned to you.  Translation:  About 45 days in advance before you want to have/see your child.

If it's specified in the order, you don't have to notify her at all.

[flewwellin]

I think that i'd go to the courts and get a visitation order in place so that  you can at least have that to fall back on.  and hate to say it but the courts do tend to be nicer when it comes to how often you see your kids.  the judge gave us more then their mother was willing to. PLUS she has to meet us half way and b4 she was trying to make us go to PA from NC to get the kids when SHE was the one that moved!!!!