How do you deal with this?

[sauerkraut]

I have a court order for visitation 9:00 am Sat to 6:00 pm Sun twice a month, which I have been exercising for over five years.  My son is six and is actually doing quite well.  The Mom is a piece of work and has attempted first to declare me unfit, then has found about every excuse possible to reduce or encroach on my visitation.
The court order has her dropping off and picking up at my address with 30 days advanced notice.  A month ago the police would do nothing to enforce when she (the night before, 1:00 am) decided not to allow me to visit unless I admitted to not feeding him properly.  The police said they could not enforce because we made arrangements 14 days prior not 30.
She has been having me pick him up over the last three years and doesn't get him ready until 11:00 am.  So I haven't been dropping him off until 8:00 pm and noting it in a book I keep.  
Now she has asked me to pick him up at 9:00 am again and "hopes she can have him ready."  Then she will pick him up at 6:00 pm Sunday.  What she will likely do is get him to me at 11:00 then come beat on my door at 6:00 pm.  Comments?  My son continually asked me if there was some way he could spend more time with me--but scared of making his mom mad.

[skye]

in the articles archive is a letter of intention for visitation start  using it every time and a denial letter IF she is late having him to you.. stating hours to exchange send everything certified return reciept... that way you have proof...


court order says she drops of at your home than write in there .. per our order for visitation...paragraph **** ... qoute it word for word ...I would like for you to have him available to my home at 9am date he will be available (per court order) to be picked up sunday date and time...


do that for 6 months ... then if things are no better file a MTA... which you could do now stating he is now in school and both yopu and him would like more time ... ask for friday after school till monday AM .. this will give you a chance to be involved in school too.

[gipsy]

Try posting what state you are from in each post < Second My and many stories are similar , I come back to this site to support people , Here's My support . NEVER GIVE UP !!! I had all the terrible stories , And a good atty that explains things in simple terms , SO here is like one of his common line's ,
      " If you let her get away with it then you teach her that she can "
    SOOO Not knowing what state you are from , I suggest what I think And all the Ideas I have Heard and Some I have verified , This is all concerning Pierce county washington . First If your son Is saying that He wants to see you more then file for a modification of the parenting plan . IN wash state It is alway's true that the judge or commissioner will do absolutely nothing untill they here from one of the other well known Court jester's called a Guardian ad Litem ,
 This is a system set up where the Court wants to here from the GAL , So they are not holding the burden if something is wrong , SOOO You would probably go to the court and get the   ORDER APPOINTING A GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF MINOR CHILD , The GAL will talk to you and Mom and some people that you know that you make a list of that will say nice things about you ,   , And file  A   PROPOSED PARENTING PLAN MODIFICATION . fILL them  OUT  with help from someone from Your state on this site , You have to know the likely hood of what you will get in your state . Like here in Wash state Because I live close to the mom My parenting plan say's .    Every other weekend from Fri 5pm till sun 5pm , Alternating holidays  , Every Thursday from after school till 7 pm , And two 1 week periods untill First grade then two , two week periods from first grade with winter break to be reconsidered at first grade . SOOO First The court considers this stuff on a couple issues .
     1`  Is your ability to co-operate with other parent
    2 Proximity , Like is it a 20 minute drive or 3 hour drive
    There are arguments to change some of this . Like the long  drive argument is to have the children for longer periods, And that you have a good time in the car talking to the kids etc
     The big trick that I missed here is this , SPEND ALL YOUR TIME IN THE COURT AND THROUGH THE PROCESS MAKING YOUR SELF OUT TO BE A GOOD PARENT !!!!!    And don't get caught up in the bullshit no matter what ,
     My big mistake was to involve myself in the horse shit Of talking about the mother when I was mad in front of the child , If the process is like it is Here ,the Guardian Ad Litem will Ask the child a few questions . And You DON'T want the child to say that you said Mom is a rotten bitch ! I did this , I was pissed , And no matter what the explanation is , Like She through the first stone or what ,women are far better at turning stuff like this around than you and I put together ,SOo .... You want all good reports , And except that I did a lot of right things , My report and court testimony was all about the good things I do with My son , Like I read Him books at night before bed  I take him fishing , to the beach and made model rockets with him , It is My expirience that the court is sooooooooo SIIIIIIIIIck sick sick and tired of hearing how the other person is a big F-up . And a good atty knows this , SO make your case about all the Great things you do , With a picture of you and Junior with that Flying model rocket and a big smile , Then Go to the court appearance , And repeat this good expierience I had , Here's the Shake spear play scene 3 or or 4 of many appearances,
      Commissioner : What does Mom want :
      MOMS asshole atty: Blah Blah Blah ,  Dads a Blah Blah Blah
        Commissioner : What does dad want ,
           [ I already told My atty Because I wised up )
         MY Atty: DAD doesn't want anything to do with the mud slinging And just wants to see his son
       Commissioner smiles AT Me!!!
        MOMS Atty :BLAH BLAH !
     Commissioner looks at Me And My atty
          " What does he want "?
     My atty Every weekend , Every Tuesday for an interactive parent and child involved parenting class , And every other thursday ;
      Commissioner : Every weekend doesn't work  
  Moms atty : BLAB BLAB she doesn't like DAD , [Concedes ] And say's Mom abjects , But I don't care ? [Wierd )
       Commissioner Ok done deal, Dad gets Every other weekend , Every Tuesday and every other thursday ,
     Now Here's the deal The parenting class Bombed but it took months for this to get changed , So I kept the visits , Don't tell Mom if this happens , It takes a while to change orders sometimes .
      So this is the end comments , Be the good parent , And hopefully the report comes out similar to mine .
      Mine say's except that dad said Moms a bitch , Basically there is a parent child relationship . And Mom say's BLAH blah Unverified BLAH !
   And dad gets a better parenting plan ,
   it All seems like a big deal , And it is very stressfull . But if you just look at this like a set of objectives and try to be the good parent And follow the rules of the court , You will be very likely to get a better plan ,
   Here is the help available at Pierce county , Try this in your area ,
 
HAve a pen and paper ready in all these calls
   Call the court and ask if there is a night where atty's help to fill out
 paperwork , Go there do that ,
     HAve her served and go tell the commissioner about the great things you do with your son and ask for more time . Let Mom say BLAB ! Never admit anything and calmly deny her probably false allegations , If you don't deny it then they may accept it ,  And if they use Guardian ad Litems where you are at then file to appoint one , That way if Mom shoots you down at court calmly ask for the GAL to be appointed then , You go See a list of three GAL's  and
And cross off one Mom does the same , then you pay the GAL ALSo put into your order that Mom pays half of the GAL fee , Since she is Half the problem ,
    People to call for help .  
  1 Fathers rights groups in your area
.  2 The BAR association
 3 the court and ask if there is a time when atty's help fill out paperwork
 go to commissioner services and just be really nice and ask for a proposed parenting plan modofication and order to appoint a Guardian ad Litem . Or child advocate [you] need to find out what your court does in these cases
  4 Every atty in town
 untill you get one that explains this is a simple process and heres what you do , And ask if they help pro se litigants
   If they do then thats a good sign of a nice atty . Ask If they believe in Fathers rights to be involved with there children , How much they charge for a parenting plan modification etc , It should be clear , They should answere like this ,
   1" It costs 500 to appoint a GAL and file for a modification , then you get chrged By the hour for my court appearance ,
   2 I believe fathers have rights  
        It should not Be , 'This is complicated 'and it could cost Thousands ,  From what You wrote this sounds simple , Mom just needs to be straightened out like right now! before she gets to big headed . And in the parenting plan modification make the transfer of the minor child at the local police station at  5 O:clock On friday ?  till 5 pm sunday , Or in your Declaration just write Mom hasn't had the child ready and I want to pick up after school friday (if you can) My situation got  better when I started the transfers at Mcdonalds restaurant . My atty said go to mcdonalds and buy a coke and wait , then keep the reciept , if mom doesn;t show the take the reciept [ dated ] an show it to the commissioner At the contempt hearing , and say, I was there she wasn't , If she doesn't have her time reciept then she may be held in contempt , ::: About contempt . My atty say's . They won't just give out a contempt the first time or the second or third , But Mom has to go through the process of responding , or hiring an atty , But eventually the court will hold her in contempt , What ever you do Don't let her Think she will get away, ever , I Made an issue of every no show , Fortunately Even though her atty is an idiot, He told her to give me makeup time and she did , But I made an issue of the first time she did it and , Told her I will file contempt every time , And she said I know you will ,and has Never missed a visit , She tried to say he was sick , SOO I called My atty , And He said tell her to have the medication ready at the transfer ,or a note from the doctor saying the visit should not take place .  ENDed that problem ,ecept after that she went to the doctor and told them a trumped up story and got a note , So I made a copy of the note and went to the Doctor and Very nicely asked about the note , And of course they said " well she said Ben was going to some place where she didn't know all the people or something " So I said well she tried to use this to interfere with My visit , And they said oh Well we don't want to get involved , . So I wrote a letterto My atty and asked him to forward it to straighten out the issue , And she hasn't tried that one again either ,  Don't take any shit . But be nice and say what you have to say ,Another thing I did was to show up with a Video camera , This put a stop to some of her bullshit also , It works . And I did this for My cousin when he had problems and the Wierdo's began flipping us off etc so I put up the video camera and they magically started to cooperate ,
     

[MYSONSDAD]

Why do they pull this sh!t, only hurts the child.

You got some great ideas sent your way. I like the one on intent letter. An added thought, send it registered mail with return signature receipt. I learned the hard way on that one...

And if you do not release your child back to her promptly at 6, she can have you arrested for kidnapping. I am surprised the police even said anything. In my area, it is civil, call your attorney.

"Children learn what they live"