Vacation anxiety, what My atty said , opinions accepted

[gipsy]

      last year I tried to give psycho her vacation notice in writing , She has her boyfriend all pumped , He gets out of the car gets inches from My face and tries to tell me They are not accepting the papers , " wierd " And to go through attys , Bla Bla , I told him to grow up " So  My atty send s the vacation letter , it was done .
   SOOOOO this year its her turn to put in her vacation papers  By April 1st , Of course she hasn't > so I call her atty . . She calls and leaves a message , Bla bla Nothing gets settled , So My atty told me to  get the Vacations dates stamped , Recieved from her atty . they promptly did And My atty said to send her the letter , i did ,
      NO response , so My atty said if theres no response , " You didn't get a letter objecting. so take him on vacation ", My dates of vacation are made to start on my visitation day , so I will have him ,
      Any expirience With this type of crap ? Maybe she thinks if she doesn't repond then she doesn't have to do it ? I guess I will never figure it out , But I garuntee she will be back in court if she screws this up ,

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

Yeah, problems with vacations are very common.  You'll learn to have less anxiety about it.

All YOU can do is follow the orders.

If you have followed the orders, have advised her (with reasonable evidence of it, like delivery confirmation, certificate of mailing, etc), then you're not going to get in trouble with the court.

However, if you'd like to post the exact text of your orders on vacation, I'm happy to let you know if I see any loopholes in them.

E.g., if the orders say, "Parties must agree on each other's vacation", then obviously her lack of response is not agreement.  And you'll have to go back to court to clarify the orders.

But if it says, "Mom to notify by April 1, Dad to notify by April 15" (or whatever), then it's pretty clear cut.

Take your vacation, and EXPECT her to create some sort of crisis when you don't return the child at the end of your normal time... but make sure you're not at home at that time so your child isn't a witness to it.

You can't control her chaos.  All you can do is try to get a handle on your own anxiety about it and take comfort in knowing that she can cry and scream all she wants, but you get to do what the orders say you can do.

[Kitty C.]

If your vacation starts with your visitation, do NOT tell her that, or she will deny you your visitation.  And there won't be a thing you can do about it until after the fact (filing contempt).

[joni]

with Kitty and your attorney.  You pay your atty  to follow his advice and CYA in court.  Kitty just has good ideas. ;-)

Don't mention the vacation again to mom.  Just take the child.

[Kitty C.]

Now yer just makin' me blush!  ;-)

[gipsy]

Parenting plan say's   ' In the even years father to pick his dates by April 1st In order to secure priority ,In the Odd year .Mother shall do the same
    Here's the deal , She has not picked her dates . So I mailed her Atty  the letter stateing My dates , Asked him to stamp it recieved , He did , And I sent her the stamped recieved letter ,there has been no response . So My atty said " Take the vacation " If She want's to make a stink of it Then  just say her lack of response was accepted as no objection to the dates , And " he said" She will have to take you to court to do anything about it , And the commissioner won't do anything if you have the stamped recieved letter .
   I think the wording of the order is rather loose reguarding official notice , However I think her atty stamping it is good enough , What ever the deal is She has to have the chaos I guess she thrives in it !

[wendl]

Hey gipsy, you still using the same atty?????


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[justwantstobeadad]

I f you are having problems when the children are being transfered for visitation contact your local child protective office they usually will allow you to do it in their office or in a special room they have set up. I would also send a certified letter they day you pick him up with your intentions of your vacation do to the fact you feel she was ok with this proposal because she never objected to it. This would probalby keep out out of trouble if she tries to have you arrsted for custodial parental interferance by claiming you ran off with the child. make sure it is certified and that you have an extra copy. Take your court papers and letters with you on vacation just incase she tries something you will have some peperwork to show visitation is open during summer. well good luck