ex just wants control over my personal life!

[Bo311]

My ex's problem is that she still wants to have control over my personal life.  And I don't mean that to sound jerkish the way it might, like I think it's all about her wanting me. Not at all.  But all she does is ask about my personal life!!! The instant I finally get her on the phone to talk to my son...she starts...WELL SO YOU AT HER HOUSE!??? She doesn't even say hello first!!!  It's impossible to talk to her period.  All she wants to know is ALL the information on my girlfriend and me. where we are, what we do, where we live....  And you know if she were being sincere and just making conversation because she wants to know how I'm doing and that I'm ok...that would be fine. But it is NOT LIKE THAT WITH HER!!!  She's just looking for information she can use, and wanting to be nosey. BECAUSE SHE DISSAPROVES OF MY RELATIONSHIP. I eventually just have to say, I'm not getting into this good bye and hang up!

I've been with my girlfriend going on two and a half years...so this isn't just a girl I have around.  This is a serious thing for me.   My ex's Excuse is that SHE FEELS my girlfriend and I have a... let me see... her exact words are "Dysfunctional Relationship"
Here's the deal....
I do admit, we have had our share of problems...especially in the beginning...we'd have HUGE fights over my attitude.  And I'm being honest here. I mean I have to be fair and give both sides of the story.  Last year, after getting off the phone with my EX stating I couldn't pick up my son...I left my girlfriends house upset and mad.  So I go do what us guys do best when we're hurting... drink a lot of beer. Well I get home late for a BBQ...VERY drunk...very angry...and take it out on my girlfriend! I mean I was horrible, I called her names pushed her around, yelled at her, scared her little girl...then to top It all off I got in HER car and speed away!!!  
So She called the police. They came for me, I spent three days in jail because according the report this was considered a domestic violence case because I did push my girlfriend around.  I was ordered to complete a year of anger management classes as well which I gladly attend and learn a lot from talking to other guys.  I'm not a violent person, my heart doesn't work that way.  But I do understand that I didn't handle the situation, as a man should.  Last year had been the worse for me...NO JOB< NO SON no stable home. I guess that day all my problems just took a toll on me.  I made a huge mistake but I learned a lot from that situation and honestly I'm kind of glad it happened. It opened my eyes.  I'm also glad that my girlfriend eventually forgave me and gave me another chance.   She has stood by side and helped me understand that I can't have a "life sucks" attitude if I ever want to make things right.  She's very understanding of my situation, and she actually helps me a lot.  She's great, I mean she even answers the phone when my ex-wife calls her cell phone and she's women enough to be nice to her even after she sees how much I suffer from her actions.  And she will NOT take sides on an issue until she knows both sides, she'll ask me to NOT call my ex-wife names...she reminds me to be nice to my ex on the phone.  She gets it.  That's why it upsets me SO Much to think that my ex's reason for not letting my son come down to visit is my girlfriend! What my ex wife doesn't understand what caused most of my issues in the past stemmed from me being away from my son!!!  It's hard.
So now my ex-wife uses the "I DON'T WANT MY SON AROUND YOUR CRAZY REALTIONSHIP" theory. I know that I may have given her the ammunition to use against me with that whole situation...but it was a one-time mistake. And I KNOW she KNOWS that. It just kills her to think that I'm actually happy with someone. that I want to be at home with my girlfriend instead of at the bars like I spent most of our marriage.  She can't stand that we have something our marriage NEVER had.  It's just an excuse for her to throw in my face about the whole "dysfunctional thing".    I mean yes I have had my share of problems and obstacles...I still do.  Does that mean I don't love my son? I don't understand how she says she wants the best for our son...but yet she keeps him away from his dad. How is that the best? By the way, my son is only 5!!!!
It's rough. It's hard to keep your head up some days.
I just hate that she makes herself sound like Miss Goody two shoes-wholesome Christian single mom!! I mean she's perfect and pure and she only has the best intentions. And I am the evil sinner!! When in reality she knows she's playing a game and she knows what she is doing is vindictive and wrong. Our son tells her he sits at pre-school alone In a chair and doesn't want to play because he misses his dad.  Yet she STILL insists to keep us apart so she can feel like she has control over the one thing that would make my life complete and perfect. THAT to me is evil. It's selfish and hateful and immoral.  How can she look at our son knowing the damage and pain she is causing him... just to please herself, and still be able to sleep at night?
Sorry for the details and the length. But sometimes I feel like my whole jail thing can hurt me seeing my son.  Although, In my eyes I don't feel a fathers love should be measured on the fact that he's been to jail for three days for making a stupid decision.  I love our son and I don't want to be scared of her because of that and not fight to get what I want!