Meet halfway or receiving parent picks up

[crayiii]

I posted this on Soc's board but thought I would put it here for more input.  I am looking for all the reasons in support of "receiving parent picks up"


I am working with my wife's attorney today on temp/perm parenting plan issues and right now the sticker is transportation.

My wife moved 550 miles away and I am requesting receiving parent picks up and she wants to meet half way.

This might sound trite but if I agree to meet half way, I am pretty much locked into driving. If it's receiving parent picks up, we can each decide the mode of transportation.

The attorney told me that he is VERY confident that any judge would order meeting half way instead of receiving parent picks up.

What are your thoughts?

[ocean]

I think if you can prove that the BM will not always meet half way and has interfered before than you should ask the judge to have receiving parent p/u to alleviate future problems. In the perfect word....If she moved than SHE should do all of the driving :)

[wendl]

crayii where you live at, lmao we just moved from WA about 550 miles away.

My ex and I meet 1/2 way, or we talk before hand on alternative transportation, like at xmas it was only $160 round trip train ride but his mom was worried about my son (her 12yrs grandson) so she purchased an airplane ticket.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[crayiii]

southern Oregon

[wendl]

we are in Montana :)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Everyside]

If they wont budge on the "receiving parent picks up", try and get wording in so if a parent is late (X) amount of times or refuses to meet for spurious reasons, it goes to receiving parents house.

Most people have nothing but trouble with the meeting half way.  I would definately insist on some clause that automatically changes it when she becomes a pain in the butt about it.

Good luck.

[4honor]

1) You always have to drive and can't fly, or take the train (which can be cheaper than driving at a distance of 550 miles.)

2) the major cities you have to travel through are larger than what she has to travel through, so you drive for 15 hours and she drives for 10 - cause she avoids rush hour.

3) you ALWAYS have to cut short your plans to get going to meet.

4) The Mcdonald's parking lot is not conducive to changing the diaper of infant/toddler siblings when the other parent is late -- and they are always late when you are receiving.

5) YOU didn't move.

6) Driving in the spring is the only nice drive... otherwise heat, ice and rain can create hazardous driving conditions.

7) you have decided to be what she always calls you a ______________ (fill in the blank with derrogatory remark) and meet her expectations, since you are such a nice accomodating guy.

8) because you loose not only the cost of the trip, but the cost of the work time missed in driving for all that time each visitation... and that can be prohibitive,  ($20/hr X 2 days work =$320.00) even if you could take vacation time to do it.

9) gas is $2.39 a gallon nationally; the average vehicle gets 20-22 MPG. 550 miles/20=25 gal X 2.39 = $59.75 (two tank fulls)

10) because the drive will increase your auto insurance rates --  repeat trips can effect coverage (or create the lack thereof).

[HeavenSent]

Forget what HER attorney said.  If judge has common sense, you can get your way on this one!  Meeting half way is just asking for problems.

[NoNicky]

In dh's case and in my own we have "receiving parent picks up".  We had to explain our stance to the magistrate and dh's case and once we put into words our reasoning the judge said since we had given a logical well thought out reason our request would be granted.  

The reason we gave was, when traveling distances of a couple of hours, including time going through a large city, traffic jams, accidents, etc can cause one parent or the other to run late and make timing of meeting more difficult.  This would cause the child undue stress to be stuck in a parking lot waiting someplace.  It also makes communication when one party or the other is running late nearly impossible.  Receiving parent picks up accomplishes the same goal as meeting 1/2 way.  It divides the drive exactly in 1/2.  It also allows the child to be in a comfortable environment where he can play, etc until the receiving parent arrives.  

More and more I have seen receiving parent picks up in newer cases.  It also puts a personal responsibility on the receiving parent and assures they will actually be where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there.  It keeps the delivering parent from delaying, hindering, or avoiding pick-up by being late or pulling a no show.  It removes stress from the child.  It relieves the delivering parent from trying to figure out how to keep a child cool in the summer or warm in the winter while waiting without spending a boatload of money on gas idling the car and exposing the child to exhaust fumes.  The alternative to this is to bribe them at a local fast food place or Wal-Mart which is counterproductive to healthy development in the child.

See what the judge says.  The worst that will happen is the judge will say no.

NoNicky
Mom, Stepmom, CP, NCP

[flewwellin]

My DH and I had a similar issue.  However she was trying to make it that we had to go all the way to her residence to and from.  Well the judge did decide it'd be a half way mark and to pick it or he will.  So we picked it and it has worked very well for us.  BM moved 500+ miles away also.  Good luck