Lost Visitation Days ect.

[jdown72]

My ex and I have always managed to get along well enough to make  visiation work up untill now. I was supposed have my summer visitation with my 9 year old daughter starting on July 12th. Three weeks prior to this date I recived a two diffrent phone calls.

 The first one to let me know that my daughter was out of control and was fighting with the step chilrden. I was also informed that she was having problems with wetting her pants. My ex wife informed me that my daughter would not listen to anyone and I needed to talk to her. My daughter and I spoke at length about the what was going on at her home. In the end I had calmed her down and was not real happy because she was blaming herself for everything that had happened. I always call my daughter at least every other night. She had not made any indications that things were getting worse. I always ask how she is getting along with everone at home. The next call was unexpected.

The second call from my daughters mother. She informed my that my daugther was totally out of control and I had to get her right now. We live in diffrent states, so I had to make plane reversations. Once I had a conformation code for a flight the next morning I called her back. When I gave her the time she said " I have to call you back" when I recived her call that time was not conveinet and asked that I change it to two days later. I explained that it would cost extra, but I could move it to a diffrent time on the same day. She had to call me back again. This took place on a Friday and my daughter flew over Saturday. We had a long talk as I live 3 hours from the airport.

I am going to jump head to last week now. The visiation with my daughter had gone very well. She did have a problem with wetting her pants at first but it dissapered after 1.5 weeks no problem since. Last Saturday in the morning I recived a call from my ex wife. She informed me that it was time for my daughter to come home. I explained to her that my time was not up yet and I would send her home 1 week before school started like agreed. She ask if I had that in writing. Well I knew that the conversation was not going anywere. I told her I disagreed and that my time started on July 12 like we aggreed on. She became very agravited and then hung up. I recived a call form her that I missed and she stated that she felt that I was threating her and  there was a plane leaving Seattle at 8:10 am the next morning and my daughter better be it or she was calling the local sheriff dept.

So, here I am. Lost a little confused and upset. My ex wife and I have never done anything in writing before and I am not sure how to go about it. There is a parenting plan in effect from 1995. At the time we both were living in the same state. My ex wife never filed any paper work about leaving the state that I know of. She did verbally tell me that she was moving 2 weeks before. This was while I had my daughter. When I sent her home it was to a diffrent state.

I just do not know where to start. Any advice.

[MixedBag]

Her move-away is probably not an issue that you can take to court anymore and that really depends on how long ago she moved and how long you've been flying your daughter back and forth and stuff.

What does the 1995 order give you?

And what have you actually been doing?

As an NCP, I would hang on to her and return her like you always have been.  The "early arrival" in your eyes can be viewed as sent with the mother's consent because she took her to the airport and put her on the plane -- you didn't do that or go get her.  

I bet the order isn't specific -- like does it SAY you get a specific period of time with your daughter (like second friday in July  to one week before school starts)?

If the CP/Mom gives you grief, file for a defined long distance parenting plan with the court.

[joni]

I would hold onto her too.  Didn't you buy a round trip ticket?  Didn't your Ex put your daughter on the first leg of that round trip so she honored the ticket, right?

If you don't have anything in writing about the exact return date, neither does your Ex.  How would she prove it to the police?

If the sheriff's show up, show them the round trip ticket as confirmation of the return date.  Don't let them in your house without a warrant or a subpoena.  Be polite, tell them your Ex can be crazy at times and apologize for inconveniencing them and wish them a nice day.

[jdown72]

I figured that the moving was a non issue. It has been about a year and a half.

 The order gave me every other weekend and Wednesday nights. We alternate holidays for example xmas on even years. For summer break it says each parent shall have half the break.  

What I have been doing is I fly over and vist as often as I can. I also fly her here. I really try to see her at least once a month for a weekend. I usally do make the once a month visitiation wether its her flying or me.

[jdown72]

Well I sent her home on the flight the next day. This all happened last weekend. I had only bought a one way ticket when she flew over.  You are right about my ex putting her on the plane.

I agree with you about the fact that she doe not have anything in writing either. The reason I did send her home is I did not want to put my daughter through that experinence. If from now on I will get things in writing. I will not go through what I did this last week again.

I just am not sure how to go about it. I am am wondering what kind of written document would work? A hand written letter or should I get things nortized. I am just unsure how far I need to go.