Sick and Tired

[okie]

Sorry people but I need to vent about the family law system in Oklahoma. I have a friend that has been but off by the court system since 2002 off and on. This time around 3 months ago the judge said get a parental coordinator. He has been denied visitation all together a total of one and half years worth.

So they get a coordinator that tells him that the child is brainwashed and that he sould sign is rights over so he concentrate(sp?) on his other children. What is up with that!!! He told her no and she told him is ex is saying he has a problem with liquor and she (the ex) is requesting that he have an evaluation done. The man may have a beer once a month. This women (the ex) get by with everything. She has not even once got in trouble by the judge. The judge just keeps making them change parental coordinators and try again. How long can this go on before the judge has to say look here is the order and you will follow it?

Some time I know he thinks that maybe giving up would be what is best for his child. All this fighting is not doing her any good. The child is told all the time that he does not care about her. He never calls her and he does all the time, the ex just will not answer the phone.

Any advise????

[ocean]

How old is the child? Can he use e-mail? Does he have any court ordered time now? I will write more once I know your situation better. :)

[okie]

Sorry to take so long to get back. The child is 5 and no he does not have email. Things are going better now. The coordinator talked to the attorney and that is not what she ment by saying that. I don't understand but we will see how things work out at the end of this week.

[gnick]

 I understand where your friend is comming from. Believe me it is not only in Oklahoma. My daughter's father vilotated our court ordered shared parenting orders for six months. In those six months of alienation between myself and my daughter he has threatened her and for all I know brainwashed her until she told a counselor alot of terrible lies about me. She has always wanted to live with me and still does but she is terrified what will happen if she speaks up and tells everyone (counselor, court, GAL etc.) the truth. He has also caused trouble with my younger child (not his daughter). I am getting visitations again but almost everytime my oldest goes back home I have children's services showing up on my door step over false reports of abuse on my youngest. Each time they come and see there is no problem and drop the investigation. I have been dealing with these problems since 2002 as well. I get sick of everything my ex and his live-in say being taken as the gossiple and I am made to look like a liar and a horrible mother. I have tried to push for joint counseling and the court sits on there thumbs. I have went on my own to get phsyc. evaluations as well as offered to take regular alcohol and drug tests. The court dont seem to want to give me the chance to prove myself. Now that I have pushed for joint counseling my ex stopped taking the child for therapy. I would think the court would question why! I feel for your friend, we dont want to make things worse for the children. Although sometimes doing what is best seems like an impossible feat!

[gipsy]

Seems the Parenting coordinater , Is similar to the Guardian Ad Litem In Wash state , And He has accomplished something , And what he has to refute is why he didn;t persue this earlier , ,My Atty advises to be persistant with these Guardian ad Litems Or what they say they are in your area , Like a weekly call Messgae that say;s I have not seen my daughter and it's been along time .And I would like a to see my daughter , the mother isn't agreeing to visits ,  I did this and the GAL Reported that i was persistant and wanted My visits . Am a good parent , And should she my son , Then this report gets in front of the judge And the judge will rule But untill you urge this appointed person the judges In wash state won't do any thing , And My atty explains :
    You or your atty represents the client , And the GAl is supposed to report to the court about the best interest of the child ,
  The Judge can't go to your house or her house to investigate : So thats what the GAL Or parenting coordinater does and files a report to the court , t
 The hardest thing to do is to spend your time with this person trying to influence them that you are a good parent , And It does little good to tell about the other parents problems unless there is proof , These Parenting people appointed by the court hear this all the time , The best outcomes I have had are derived from Good reports about My persistance in seeing my son , And that there are good reports about me from My nieghbors etc , All this was reported to the Judge , And that I had a bed , and toys ready for My son ,
  You need to concentrate on Getting this good report to the judge through this parenting coordinater , Then you file it and as in My case the judge gave me my visits , Bee good and try to get a good report to the judge , AND DON"T GIVE UP !1